Friends Past, Present, and Future
by Scottea
Summary: Kirk learns more about Spock's first few months at the Academy, about his treatment by the other cadets having an impact on his view of humans, how studying really became his solace and refuge, and how somebody understood. The main characters are not mine but I thank Paramount for allowing me to play with them. Reviews and comments welcomed.
1. Chapter 1

Captain James Kirk looked around the room at the others there and realized that while he was the youngest there he was the one what had the most experience on a starship and as the captain of a flagship with first contact experience. Not one of the twelve senior officers there had personally been on a non-aligned plant for years, if ever. They had sent him out with the Enterprise to visit a planet they knew nothing current about with six cadets whose records at the Academy had been exceptional and who had expressed a desire to do advanced training and had, in fact, applied for consideration for command training although Kirk had noted how some of their instructors had questions about their suitability.

He had been called before them to give his opinion of the six cadets and he had done so in not uncertain terms. They were all looking at him and he knew they were waiting for more information, that was obvious from how they were looking at him, at the silence that filled the room.

Slowly and deliberately he looked at each one individually then said, "Of the six not one would be welcome to stay on my ship. They might know all the theory, all the rules and regulations, all the protocols, might all have passed all the physical and mental testing, and some might even know many other languages but not one of them was ready for that. They put themselves, my ship, my crew, and myself at risk. You, **you** put us all at risk for you knew a risk factor unknown to us. And for what?" again he looked at each one, "Those ten you sent in ahead for us to show those six how to recover had more to offer as officers than those six kids yet you put them at risk as well. I fail to see your reasoning."

"You do understand that we wanted them to see the very best in action, don't you?"

"You and your crew have a reputation many do not believe, that many aspire to but fall well short of. We wanted them to see what real command of such a ship is like. What it is like to be a part of the finest command crew."

"We were not to know there were hostiles there but you all knew there were."

"It was necessary to fully test those seeking command positions, Kirk. We were aware that there were a few small groups opposed to the Federation but they make up less than fifteen percent of the population so we were sure that you would not be in too much danger but possibly just enough to test the young ones. While what transpired was not what we had envisaged on any of our scenarios it did expose the cadets to the reality of what sometimes happens on first contact missions. We knew with your crew there was no real danger to the cadets."

Reason after reason was almost shouted at him but Kirk bit back his first thoughts with each reason and just sat still.

"Kirk, surely you remember your training. You were put in a position of risk."

He remembered his training and he had not been put in a situation anything like the young ones he had been given had been in. None of the senior crew had been taken hostage. They had not returned with several senior crew injured and one crewmember in a catatonic state. Their captain had not been called into a review like this as there had not been any engagement with hostiles as they had encountered.

"I remember." Kirk finally said when he was aware they were all looking at him. Only Captain Peter Glenn, the captain of the latest training ship, the U.S.S. Venture, gave him an understanding nod. He had left ten of his officers as those they were to retrieve on the planet. They had met a few times a few time and been in contact just before the test to confirm his men were on the planet. "I also remember that my first testing with risk was in a simulation at the Academy. I remember there was no real phaser fire, I remember that none of my fellow officers were injured. Yes, I remember my training."

"We will review your report and that of your First Officer over the next twenty-four standard hours and hold a total debriefing in thirty-six standard hours. Should either of you have questions then we will answer them if they are what you need to know. Please ensure your First Officer is with you tomorrow."

"While it was unusual for your First Office not to accompany you we do understand that he wanted to be present when the final assessment was made on one of your crew. That is what makes your command crew so special, Kirk, the way they do care about not just senior officers but the entire crew."


	2. Chapter 2

Captain Peter Glenn met him after the meeting and they went to the Officers' Lounge and had a drink. For a long time Glenn looked at him and Kirk knew the man enough to know he could see how furious he was at all that had happened on the training run. Peter had been, for a few years now, part of the team used to assess cadets but had no control over the actual testing. It was known he had little patience for cadets who were, as he called them, bravado babies. Those cadets who put on a display of bravado but at the first sign of real danger were as useless and helpless as newborn babies.

"I told them you would not like it. Told them you did not see it as part of the Enterprise's role to play teacher to cadets. Now you and your crew are the best of the best but you are neither assessment officers nor babysitters. I had time to see the cut of some of those cadets and most had delusions about their abilities plus there were a lot of egos in that lot. Can imagine that two prize bravado babies in particular would have almost caused Mister Spock to lose his Vulcan calm."

Kirk had smiled, "Williams and Daniels tested us all. So by the book and not able to see the possibilities. Both really knew the regulations and standard procedures but were unable to cope with things that fell outside of their control and that did not fit into the neat boxes. And yes, Spock did express some frustration in dealing with them."

"Reading through the reports of my ten officers let me know it must have been hellish down there. They did not rate the actions of the cadets very highly. They all made mention of the silent communication between you and Mister Spock and Mister Spock and Officer Harris. You sure lucked out there, Jim. Best First Officer and Best Recovery Officer. They said Harris and you two really worked well together but they were unsure about what happened when the rebels kept the three of you after you three had managed to get the cadets and them all released and then your own officers one by one."

There was a question in the grey eyes looking at him and Kirk looked away. He was not ready to deal with that yet. "It was," he closed his eyes for a moment and let out a slow breath then looked back into the grey understanding eyes, "It was rough on all of us."

"Understood, Jim. Just know. If you want to talk,"

"Thanks, Peter. And thanks for the drink. Think we both have ships to get back to."

Seldom had Jim Kirk realized how safe he felt on his ship and in his quarters as he did when he emerged from the shower in a clean uniform. He still had a few muscular aches and a few bruises but he felt safe and knew his friends, his ship, and his crew were all safe. For a moment he paused, realizing he really did think first of his friends and then his ship. He had told those cadets they should always think first of their ship. Always the ship came first. He shook his head. If it came to him having to destroy the Enterprise to save one of his friends he could, he knew, do it if it were just the ship. If the crew was on the ship he would have to let his friend die.

No, he shook his head. He would not think of that. Too many things had happened in too short a time that was making him think all these crazy thoughts.

Calmly he sat down and reread his report, Scotty's report, Sulu's report, Uhura's report, and Spock's. While his, Scotty's, Sulu's and Uhura's had been slightly more emotive and very accurate Spock's was extremely precise and totally impassive. For a moment Kirk hesitated and reread the last comments on Spock's report and shook his head. To most who read it there would have been nothing unusual but he knew the man; he knew just how exact Spock's reports were. Always exact so that there were no questions about what was meant.

"The actions taken by Officer Harris in securing the release of Captain Kirk and First Officer Spock, while successful, were illogical, unpredictable, and yet uniquely those one would expect from Officer Harris. It is extremely regrettable that such actions have caused him severe mental and physical trauma which should be able to be successfully dealt with either by the medical expertise found on the Enterprise or with the healers on Vulcan."

In his mind Kirk relived those hours they had been hostages. Relived it all from how they had been taken to how they got clear. The rebels who had held them had been brutal and rough on all of them to start with and then had concentrated on Spock and then just of Officer Harris. Their captors had released the cadets and the officers when he had pointed out that the three of them were senior officers and therefore of more value as negotiating pawns and that Starfleet was more likely to listen if they let the others go. He had pointed out that they knew more about the operational details of Starfleet than the others.

How stupid had be been to say that? At the time it had seemed the best thing to say to get the others away. Somehow he had been sure that he and Spock could figure a way out. At the time he had thought that with Spock and Officer Harris working together with him they would find a way. So many other times before they had encountered rebels like these and managed to find a way out of trouble. There had seemed to be was nothing special about these. When it got down to the three of them he had been so sure that they could find a way till those three others walked in looked at them and went into another room.

"And now the fun begins, Captain Kirk. You will wait here while we find what is in the minds of your two officers." the leader had smiled at him as he realized what he meant, as he remembered how Spock had momentarily shaken his head when the three others walked in. At the leader's nod three of their five guards took Spock and Harris into the other room.

Through the door he had heard the leader's voice, raised in what sounded like awe yet fear, telling them to go, telling out to the two guards watching him to let him go, and telling Spock and Harris to leave His two guards lowered their weapons and left. When the door had opened and he had seen Spock he had immediately thought it had been just because Spock had been able to convince them do it but it when he saw Harris limp in those strong arms he knew differently.

He also had known from the look on Spock's face that Spock knew more, much more, about Harris than he did and that Harris had paid for their freedom.

How clear it had been from how Spock had been carrying Harris, it had been clear in how Spock had been looking at Harris that there was a deep connection. But why had Spock mentioned Vulcan in his report? Had they met on Vulcan? And why had Spock not told him about knowing Harris?


	3. Chapter 3

Quickly he had accessed Steven Harris's records and scanned it for the word Vulcan. Damn, nothing. So he had never been to Vulcan. As Harris had graduated from the Academy three years before they had they had not met there. He had been on four ships, none of which Spock had been on. Kirk let out a slow and low whistle, Harris had an impressive record of successful recoveries. He had only been on the Enterprise for eighteen months as part of a replacement group for those twenty crew members forced to leave for medical or family reasons and was due to rotate off at the end of the five year mission. There were no indications of how he knew Spock and Kirk was aware that Spock had not spent much, if any, time with him since he had been aboard. Their rosters clashed and so did their interests and personalities. Deep within him Kirk knew there had to be some point, some common ground where they had met, some event that had put them together but it was not on Harris's record and he knew Spock's almost as well as his own.

All the records showed was that it had been the first operation they had been on together and yet they had seemed to mesh as though they had worked together for years. He clearly saw again the look of shocked yet surprised relief that had flashed across Spock's face when he saw Harris appear on the planet as part of the second landing party. There had to be something he was missing. He checked Harris's record again and there was nothing, absolutely noting from when he went into the Academy right up to that landing party, to show how Spock knew him but it was obvious he did, and knew him well.

The one thing Jim Kirk knew was that he would find out what the connection was. Being the captain of the ship he had every right to know what their connection was as it could be a danger to the safety of the ship. He also needed to know before the next meeting with those twelve who would, no doubt, have a lot of questions he wanted to have answers for. He had to know what their connection was and for a moment stopped as he realized that this was one thing that Spock had not told him about. Even after they had returned to the Enterprise and McCoy had released them from Sickbay Spock had said nothing about Harris or about how he knew him so well. If Spock would not tell him of the relationship as a friend then he would, as the captain of the ship, demand his First Officer to tell him. For all he knew it could endanger the safety of his ship.

James Kirk stood looking at his First Officer knowing that from where he was standing he could not be seen. A part of him was telling him he had no right to see and hear what he was but another part of him insisted that if it had to do with his First Officer it had to do with him. He had seen his First Officer visit other officers in Sickbay but this was different. This was wrong. This was all so very wrong.

There had to be a reason for Spock to just stand there talking with the specialist from Starbase Eight who had come aboard the Enterprise to examine the officer. Although McCoy had clearly been against it Kirk knew he had accepted it as part of the procedures from Command. To have an officer committed to a Starfleet facility they had to be examined by a specialist. While McCoy had accepted it Kirk could tell from the way Spock was standing he was defending Harris and, from where he was standing Spock was physically blocking the specialist from getting back to Harris, protecting him. That was something Spock had never done before. Before he had always left and McCoy deal with the specialists and questioned him afterwards, this time McCoy had walked away and left Spock with the specialist. Everything about it spoke of a reason, a connection, a relationship he knew nothing about.

He had been concentrating so much on watching Spock he had not seen McCoy watching him and noticing his confusion, anger, and pain till he heard, "I've often wondered what would happen when this day came. I knew it would come I just did not know when."

At the unsaid Kirk and turned and looked at McCoy, "What day?"


	4. Chapter 4

"The day when you had to stop and really see Spock as the rest of us do. Not as **your** First Officer. Not as **your** Science Officer. He is Spock, Jim. You have to stop and see Spock as not being something or somebody that is here for you and you alone. Just like the rest of us, he has a right to his own life. Also, like all of us, he had a life before the Enterprise that he may or may not share bits about with others and he will have a life after the Enterprise that we may or may not be a part of. Does he know **everything** about you and **everybody **who has had anything to do with you? See him as him. Do not even see the fine officer he is. Just see him as Spock." In the blue eyes that looked at him he saw understanding and he felt it in the hand the gripped and briefly squeezed his shoulder.

Just as Kirk opened his mouth to deny what McCoy was saying he saw his friend nod, "I know it and you know it. Sometimes you do think of him as part of the ship, part of the equi[ment. Sometimes you lapse into how it was when you were still getting used to that Vulcan side of him that he prefers to live behind. "

Either just to get McCoy to be silent or in agreement with him Kirk was not sure but found himself nodding his head.

"Jim, Spock was on the ship before you took command. Both he and Scotty were here before you as were several others. Like us they all have parts of their pasts you know nothing about just as you have parts of your past they know nothing about. He is an officer on your ship but he is **not yours** the way the ship is. Spock is the First Officer of the ship, Jim. He is an officer who obeys your orders but he is **not yours**. Now over time the two of you became friends and just as you have other friends so does he." as he moved to go McCoy gave his shoulder another squeeze, "If you want to talk you know where I will be."

After McCoy had left Kirk just stood still. Time had no meaning. It took Kirk a moment to realize what McCoy had said. Two words echoed in his head. _Not yours_. _Not yours._ That was it. It had been verbalized. What he had been thinking Bones had said. Somehow hearing it made it seem worse. That was the truth. Hearing it made it real.

When he took command of the Enterprise Spock had been there. Spock had been there from the moment he took command of the Enterprise. After he had had to kill Gary Mitchell Spock had been there and he had promoted him to be his First Officer. Spock already was the Science Officer and he had simply added the role of First Officer to his duties. When he tried to recall the promotion he could not remember ever asking Spock if he wanted it. He had simply promoted him. A chill went through him. Promoted him because he was there and knew the ship and crew. Spock had been there when he needed the facts, the answers, and the support.

In his mind he had always expected Spock to be there for him as long as he was in Starfleet. He was so used to thinking of Spock not only as a part of his life but also of the ship, of his command, his role in Starfleet. Spock had always been there for him.

Yes, Spock had been there for him. For him. Now, to see Spock like that, to have to acknowledge that Harris had some connection with him that he did not know about was unsettling. This proof that Spock had had a life before they met that he really barely knew anything about had caught him totally unprepared.

For most of the three years he had known him Kirk realized he had thought of Spock as so many things but had really not stopped to think of him as just Spock, as a person with a life before they met. Over the years he had met and come to partly understand the matrix of Spock's family, had heard of some of the torment he faced at school and most likely at the Academy, and knew he had had a rough life before he came aboard the Enterprise. While he had accepted that Spock had been on the Enterprise under Pike for eleven years he had not stopped to think of Spock as really existing before he entered his life. Not once had he really stopped to think of Spock as an individual who had been on the Enterprise for eleven years before he had entered his life, as an individual who had a life before they met, as an individual who had had to associate with other individuals.

Not once. Kirk stopped. Bones was right. Too often he had thought of Spock as his. His friend, his First Officer, his Science Officer. When had he stopped to wonder why Spock would have him as a friend? He had never really talked, in any real meaningful depth, with Spock about their lives before being on the Enterprise or their plans for retirement. Oh, they had discussed families but not in depth, usually just bits and pieces over a game of chess. They had often flittered over random incidents that came to light through other events but no real deep conversations about their lives. No real conversations over cups of coffee as he had seen other crew members having. No meaningful converstations about what friends they had had as children, at the Academy, or even what other crew members they talked with. In truth he had never thought of Spock as having friends because of his aloofness and knowing how difficult it was to get through that wall of reserve to find the kind, responsive soul it protected. That little voice in his mind and laughed and corrected him, he had **not wanted to think** of Spock as having a human friend before him. There was clearly so much he did not know about Spock's life that he had every right.

**No!** No, he stopped himself. That was not fair. He had no right to know more about Spock's private life than that which his friend wanted to share with him. There were things in his own life that he had not shared with Spock so he should not be at all surprised that there were things in Spock's life he had not shared.

What had jolted him into thinking it was the obvious relationship Spock had with Steven Harris. There was a friendship there, of that Kirk was certain of. A friendship he had not known about. A friendship he was not a part of. Just for a moment he had felt a flare of betrayal and was immediately ashamed of it He was shocked at how he had thought he had every right to know all about his First Officer's life and relationship with others. It horrified him that he had, as Bones had said, thought of Spock as his.

Although Steven Harris was in a coma there was no mistaking the way Spock was standing looking at him. There was decidedly a deep relationship between them that he was not a part of, a part of Spock's life before he knew him, a part of Spock's life that Spock had never spoken of. It was a shock to suddenly realize that Spock clearly had had a human friend before they met although he had never mentioned one. There was just a twinge of fear that maybe that friendship was as meaningful or even more meaningful to the Vulcan than their one as he had turned down an invitation to have a meal with him as well as a game of chess after he had returned to the ship from the debriefing. Spock obviously had been here with Steven Harris and not with him.

Numbed by the realization Kirk took a step back and leant against the wall. What, what was it Spock had said, "_No thank you, Jim, not this time. I have a, I have another friend I must care for. You have a good evening." _That was it. Another friend. Spock had openly called Harris a friend. It had taken him years to get Spock to admit to him that they were friends and even longer to Spock to admit it to others but he had said it so readily about Harris. Granted he had paused for a long time before he admitted he had another friend but Spock had called him a friend.

What was it based on? When did it start? Spock had those parts of his life that Kirk now acknowledged he might never know about just as he knew he had not told Spock about all of his life. Most of the people in his life that Spock did not know of were women, women who no longer were a part of his life. There had been a few other males he had known before he met Spock but none he had thought of as real friends but just people he had met and nothing more. What he had seen in the look on Spock's face and from his stance James Kirk knew that whatever was between Spock and Harris was much more than what he had had with others. And, he closed his eyes as he accepted the truth; it was something he had absolutely no right to question.

"Ahhh, Captain Kirk." the specialist looked at him and Kirk was shocked to realize that in that short time since he had stepped back Spock and the specialist had stopped talking. "I'm, Gary Bars, Starfleet's chief neurological specialist, I will be back in forty-eight hours for a final assessment of Officer Harris. I should have made it now but Mister Spock has asked for the additional time with him to try some sort of Vulcan treatments and to await the Vulcan healers who have expressed a great interest in seeing Officer Harris. Mister Spock has made it clear that he will be in with them when they are examining Officer Harris. After what Officer Harris did and the obvious friendship Mister Spock has with him I could not refuse him that time. Plus, I must admit, I will be interested in what the Vulcan healers find that I might have missed.

"While I believe Mister Spock is unusually optimistic for a Vulcan about his intended treatment for Officer Harris there really is little that we can do for him. The Vulcans do have some unusual treatment methods but his mind has been damaged far more extensisvely than any I have seen. I trust you will be present when I return to take Officer Harris to a facility? Doctor McCoy has said he will be here and said that he was sure you would be. I believe, from what I have heard, read, and observed, that you and Mister Spock are close friends and he will need some support adjusting to the loss as obviously he and Officer Harris were also good friends."

_The loss. Were good friends._ So many possibilities of what they could mean rushed at Kirk as he looked at the specialist. Were. Past tense. Loss.


	5. Chapter 5

Aware of the specialist looking at him Kirk nodded and attempted a smile, "Yes, I will be there for them. Thank you for coming."

Once the specialist had left Spock just stood looking down at Steven Harris and let the years fall away for a moment. So many times back then he had seen Steven lying like he was. When he woke he would lie still for a moment, slowly lift his head and look around and then act as though nothing had happened. If he woke here he would be slightly confused as to where he was but may remember. Although he had spent time in Sickbay Spock was sure that he would be easier to help in his quarters as he could make it look like where he knew Harris would feel safe. It would have familiar surroundings.

He had to admit that it had slightly surprised him when McCoy had agreed with his proposal even without knowing the reasons behind it but then knew that McCoy was the sort of physician who would try anything that might help his patients no matter how illogical he may think it. It had been McCoy who got the specialist to allow him to treat Steven. The doctor's use of logical reasoning in his debate with the specialist was enlightening and proved what he had long believed but would not tell McCoy: that under all that emotional camouflage was a very logical mind.

What he had proposed Spock knew was totally unorthodox but he also knew it would be the only way to reach into Steven and help him come back. The others only saw how he was, they had no idea what had been done to him to get him into that state. The others only knew that the rebels had released them but had kept Jim, Steven, and himself. They only knew that they were free because Jim had convinced their captors to release them. The others had not seen the physical contact that the rebels had had with him but Steven had known what else was happening and had reacted. Even in his report Spock had not detailed what had taken place.

As a result of what had happened he had mentioned only the mental capabilities of the leader of the rebels but nothing about the uncontrolled and undirected power in the minds of three of the rebels. There was no mention of the way they had tormented Steven by invading his mind and exploring the things he had done. Not a word about how they had done it because Steven had stopped them raping his own mind. He did not state that their captors had kept exploring Steven's mind till he lapsed into unconsciousness and repeated their assault when he regained consciousness. Fully reporting every detail would not change what had transpired and was of a personal nature. It was done.

Slowly and gently Spock reached out and momentarily touched the side of Steven's face, his index finger hovered over the main point of contact. No! Not here. Not now. He withdrew his hand and closed his eyes as he clearly remembered how they had taken him, placed him in that chair, placed their hands on his head and were toying with his mind, slowly breaking down his shields, and had been ready to. Momentarily he felt a shadow of the shiver of horror and panic he had felt cross over him. Excitement had charged from their hands when they first grabbed him. "_A Vulcan toy."_ he had heard one say to the others through their mental link. They were going to rape his mind when Steven had rushed them, knocking them away, then had stood facing them, somehow standing between him and the rebels, silently challenging them.

"Very well, we will take your mind then the Vulcan's then the Captain's."

The same three who had been set to rape his mind started, then stopped when Steven had lapsed into unconsciousness and had looked at him, "He is hiding something from us but we will get it. It must be important that he has it hidden so well. Perhaps he knows more than you, Vulcan."

Only once before in his life and only on Vulcan had Spock seen what had happened. He had been in his tenth year of education when he had seen two boys known not to like one another get into a mental fight with physical contact. They both had collapsed in the end and even the healers had been unable to heal the mental damage done. As was the Vulcan way the boys were left to their family care. What the three had done to Steven was like that, only Steven had outlasted them. They had tried but he had defeated them. The three had, Spock could tell by their stances and their expressions, been applying all their combined force to probe into Steven's mind, to rip from it what they wanted. All three had suddenly cried out, gripped their heads, and collapsed. There was no doubt that they had been sufficiently mentally damaged from the total fetal positions they had curled into with the only difference being how they were holding their heads. Spock was also certain that they would be disposed of by their leader once he got over the shock of what had happened.

It had been clear that the action had totally frightened the leader. No, it had terrified the leader. He had looked at Spock and Spock had seen the fear and total disbelief, "It, it is true. You, you do have superior warriors, officers, than us. They were the best at getting another's thoughts. He, his, your powers are as great as we have been told. They were the last ones on the planet who knew what to do, knew how to get into the minds of our enemies. Vulcans, Romulans, Klingons and Humans were all the same to them. We were told you had the best. We could not believe it. He, he damaged all three. All three. We are defenseless now. We have no way of knowing what the enemy is planning. Go! Guards, let Kirk go! Take Kirk and him and go. Take them and go. Go!"

Just as he had bent over Steven to pick him up, as he had been leaning over him he had stopped. It had been there. A sign.


	6. Chapter 6

Yes, it had definitely been there. There as it had been before. An acknowledgement. An awareness. It was something he had not seen for seventeen year but knew it so well. For the briefest of moments as he started to pick him up Steven had looked at him, full recognition in his eyes, smiled a smile Spock had not seen for over seventeen years, and lapsed into the state he was still in. As it had been then, so much had been said with that smile.

Now he could carry him away from Sickbay and take him where he might feel better if he were truly aware of where he was. It would be as close to a familiar safe place as could be made. McCoy had told him he did not think Steven would be aware of anything, that his scans showed unusually chaotic activity he had not seen before but nothing that indicated he knew where he was. Oddly there had been no hesitation in his reply when Spock had asked if he could take him from Sickbay to his quarters. McCoy had even agreed to contact Vulcan and ask for a healer to be sent after explaining the situation.

"Just no mind melding, agreed?"

As he had looked into the blue eyes he could see there was concern and understanding and he had nodded, "No mind melding. I will just touch his mind, Doctor, but I will not meld. I believe that he will be better in my quarters."

Very carefully Spock reached out and picked Steven up from the bed, holding him in his arms the way one does a child. Alternating waves and tremors of confusion and pain were making Steven's muscles spasm and for a moment Spock wanted to hug Steven to him and try to take away that pain but knew he did not have the ability to do so. Some extremely exceptional full Vulcans were reputed to have that ability but he had never actually seen it happen. As he felt the slight shaking form in his arms he knew that if he knew of such a Vulcan he would do whatever he had to do to get Steven to them. But his quarters and his limited skills would have to surfice.

Cautiously Spock slightly lowered his shields and felt total confusion and could only just hear a faint voice calling out. Steven was calling out to him. To him or for him, at that moment Spock was not sure and knew only he had to get him away from Sickbay, get him to a place of peace, and try to help him.

When Kirk looked over to where Spock was he saw his friend and First Officer pick up Steven and saw the look on his friend's face. There was so much blame and guilt there and yet something else that he had seldom seen on his face when he looked at a stranger, a blend of deep compassion and love. Again Kirk pulled himself up short. To Spock Harris clearly was not a stranger. A small part of Kirk was both pleased for and sad for his friend at that moment. It was so obvious to him that Spock was torn between wanting to protect that burden and dealing with a deep guilt he was having difficulty with. The moment Spock saw him Kirk saw a silent plea, for help and understanding.

"Where?"

"My quarters."

For a moment Kirk just looked at him then reached out to the intercom, "Scotty, get the corridors cleared from Sickbay to Spock's quarters."

"Thank you, Captain."

"Need help?"

"No." Spock realized he had replied perhaps too quickly, too harshly from the way Kirk had looked at him, "I apologise, Captain, but I can manage this alone. I should be ready to be with you at the meeting tomorrow. He will need me till then and for some time after it."

Only the years of having known the Vulcan stopped Kirk from asking about how Steven would be while he was away. In silence he walked beside his friend as Spock carried Steven to his room and laid him on the bed. He saw all the tenderness he himself had experienced the times Spock had carried him to his own quarters and put him to bed in the way Spock placed Harris on the bed and gently brushed the hair off his forehead. For all the talk of Vulcans not having emotions that one simple gesture negated all that was said.

"Spock?" Kirk was not sure what he was going to ask or why he had even said his friend's name as he had.


	7. Chapter 7

The Vulcan indicated the main room but stood where he could see the bed yet looked at Kirk, "I should tell you why he is here, in my quarters and not Sickbay."

"There's no need, Spock. The specialist said,"

"I only told him that I had known Steven and believed I could help him away from Sickbay."

"It something to do with whatever it was they did to him?"

"That and from what I know of his past."

"So" Kirk nodded, " you did know him before."

An eyebrow arched and Kirk smiled as Spock asked, "You knew?"

"I suspected just from how you were with him. Your reaction to his actions down there. I won't pry."

Spock looked from him back to Harris then back to him. "We met on my first day at the Academy."

"Oh," rapidly Kirk did the math and realized Spock would have known Harris for almost more than half his life.

"As you know I was the first Vulcan at the Academy." Spock looked steadily at him and Kirk could sense the pain in his friend as he remembered that time, "I was not at all welcomed by other cadets and some of the instructors and tutors. As you also know during the first year as a cadet you have to share accommodation with a senior cadet. Nobody wanted to share with me and made it clearly known but the Accommodations Officer followed procedure at the meeting where senior cadets select a first year cadet to room with. As I stood waiting for somebody to offer to room with me I heard the comments of the other cadets. I had thought only Vulcan children and youths could hide their hatred and disapproval behind words like that."

Kirk remembered those days, he clearly even remembered that first year sharing a room with a cadet who talked in his sleep, had a habit of leaving his things all around the room, and who was content to just pass tests but with no real goal."

"You will know that anybody who could not get a roommate had to leave Starfleet. I will not repeat what the majority said about sharing with a half-breed nor what they called him and called out to him when he walked up to me and said he would room with me if I could stand rooming with a rule bender. I am sure he heard them but he just kept looking at me."

"Spock, you shared a room with him that first year at the Academy when things were crazy, when the pressure is really on to see who could take the pressure we would encounter. I cannot even remember the name of the cadet I had to share with. I remember his annoying habits but not his name or much else about him."

When Kirk saw that his friend was still chastising himself he tried a different approach, "You know they always took in about ten percent more than would make it through the first year and how at the start things were almost beyond bearable. You would be different groups and would not have had all that much contact with each other. It was all a part of the testing, a part of the preparation for having to live with others in confined spaces. That was over fifteen years ago, it is not surprising you took some time to remember him."

"We, we did not share for the full year, Jim. Once the higher echelon realized I had such highly advanced computer skills I was given a room to myself so that I could do some work for them as well as my studies. We shared a room for exactly thirty-eight standard weeks. I am uncertain as to what I would have done had he not accepted me as a roommate."

"You would have found a way, Spock. You would have,"

"No Jim," Spock shook his head and gave his friend a look of resigned acceptance, "you know what it was like at the Academy. You had to be accepted by them otherwise you were considered a disruptive influence. You know how they have more applicants than rooms and those who do not get a roommate have to wait a year when they will get one. Being the first Vulcan made me the ideal target for those with xenophobic tendencies. If you know the history of the Academy you will know that whenever a non-human had been accepted by the faculty they also had to be accepted by the student body."

Spock looked away and took a deep breath and Kirk knew that Spock was sharing with him a part of his past he did not like thinking about. "There was one main person who wanted me out. He had a large following of others who also did not want non-humans in the Academy and who made my life there nearly intolerable and constantly harassed Steven about rooming with me. One night I had been working for one of the lecturers and had been walking back to the accommodation block when he and five of his team surrounded me, overpowered me, took me to a storage shed, stripped me, and held me bend over a drum so they could," Spock moved away from Kirk, bowed his head and closed his eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

Cautiously Kirk reached out and placed a hand on a thin shoulder, he knew how Spock must have felt then as even now he was a fairly modest person. For him to have been,

"Before they could do anything else Steven came charging in, and although I could not see what was going on, I felt them release me as he said, "_If you do not take your hands of my friend right now I will break his neck. Any of you make a move towards my friend, I will break his neck. You will leave my friend alone during his time at the Academy or I will systematically find each and every one of you and break your necks. As you know I have the skills to cover my tracks and your broken necks will just be recorded as bad accidents_." Until that moment I had thought of him as a quiet, non-violent human but what I heard in his voice was a cold determination and statement of facts that left no doubt that he could and would do what he said. Till that night had anybody asked me if he were capable of any form of violence I would have not hesitated to say no but, Jim, I have no doubt that had any of them even touched me or given me any trouble at all he would have broken somebody's neck. We never discussed that night, he went on as though nothing had happened and, and I accepted it."

There was pain in his friend's eyes when he looked at Kirk, "I was never bothered by them after that. I, I never thanked him for all he did, Jim. For all he silently tolerated with me sharing a room with him, for saving me that night and defending me before the Board on six occasions, and for the friendship he gave me in his own way. When I had moved into the room with him he had asked what area I needed and when I hesitated he said he had read that Vulcan meditated a lot and if I needed special spaces for it then he would work around it. With the studies I was doing I occupied more than seventy-eight percent of the room yet he never once complained. I saw and heard how the others taunted him, goaded him, because of me but he never mentioned it, never reacted to it. He never once started the fights that others caused because of my sharing a room with him and he never once reported who had attacked him to me or the authorities."

"Spock, that was only for a short time a long time ago when things in your life were hectic. You would not have spent all that much time together. You had no way of knowing,"

"I could have followed him through the computer system. I could have found out all the things he has done since then. With every promotion I have had I have received just a short note from him congratulating me. I never replied." Two dark eyes looked into him and Kirk felt the pain of his friend, "I did not even know he was on the Enterprise, Jim. How could I not know that?"

"He could have let,"

"No," Spock shook his head, "He always respected my privacy and he would wait for me to approach him. All the time we shared the quarters he always acquiesced to what I asked for. In a way we were two loners sharing a comfortable silence." A smile touched his friend's face as the look in his eyes changed, "While I would spend my spare time studying or on the computers learning more he would be out alone physically challenging himself. There was just one time," momentarily Spock closed his eyes and from his expression Kirk knew his friend was remembering in detail what had happened, "only one time when he asked me three times in a short period of time to go out for a walk with him. Usually he would only ask the once but on that occasion he was so insistent. I had wanted to study a new paper on a revelutionary computer system that still was being developed and he oddly asked me to go on a walk with him. I had been most reluctant but I finally told him I would go as long as it was a short walk, and I was a bit annoyed when we walked into a building less than fifteen minutes away. Always before his walks had been into the forests and parklands lasting up to two point six hours and I thought we were going to do that and not walk around a building."

Kirk saw the smile broaden just slightly, "I was somewhat surprised when we went into the building and he stopped, Pressed on a button, looked at me, and asked if I would not rather see and use the system and question its designer directly than read about it. It was known that the man developing the system worked alone and that it was very difficult to get an appointment to see him. I was about to point out the illogic of his statement when Professor Graeme Thorely, the man who was designing and developing the system, opened the door. Steven looked at me, said he would leave us alone as he had a hike to go on, thanked the Professor, and left."

"He ever tell you how he knew Thorely?"

"No but the Professor did. Seems there were things even then that Steven did not tell me about. I am certain he would have had I asked but he always showed such great respect for my privacy that I respected his. The Professor said he had decided to go for a walk in an unfamiliar area, had slipped and fallen into a crevasse. He had heard voices of searchers but they had not heard or seen him for four days. Steven went out alone and found him, saved his life and said nothing about it. The Professor had wanted to thank him but said Steven asked not to be named and while Steven seemed to have walked away from it the Professor had never forgotten him. He said when Steven got in touch with him about a visit and possible involvement on a project for a friend he was only too pleased to help."

Again Spock looked at him and Kirk saw uncertainty, "Jim, I, I was able to be a part of the development of that system. Thorely had me go back several times and we both worked on the system even though I was still a cadet. In the report and subsequent papers about its development he was highly complimentary about my involvement. When I left he had looked at me and said I was blessed to have a special friend like Steven."

Spock shook his head and let out a long breath, "Professor Thorley had called him my friend. I had never really had one before and did not fully understand what it meant to have one. I was aware he was different to the others, that he was more accepting but I had not experienced such acceptance and understanding from a human, apart from my mother, before and was unsure how to react. Plus there was so much I could and needed to learn. I needed so much time and space alone to study and he always granted it to me. I remember several occasions when I had parts of an experiment scattered over his bed and how he would not comment but would sleep on the floor as though it were the most natural thing for him to do."

Quickly Kirk thought back to the rooms at the Academy that first year. They tested the cadets not only by making them share quarters but by having bare floors and no real spare room. For anybody to sleep on the floor they would have to sleep in a cramped space. Clearly Spock saw him remembering as he nodded, "More times than I like to recall he slept on the floor and he never complained. I would watch him when he work and how he would slowly stand up and take an average of two point four minutes to stretch and move. He, he only ever asked me for one thing and that was to go on that walk with him."

For a moment as Spock looked at him Kirk could tell something was still troubling his friend, "What is it, Spock?"

"I never thanked him, Jim. I thanked the Professor but I never thanked Steven. I never thanked him for anything he did for me. I never told him what having him in my life at that time meant. All I did was take advantage of all he did for me. All I did was study. All I wanted to do was study, I had not wanted to have to associate more than I had to with other cadets. So often as a child I had been rejected, I had been treated as insignificant, and I did not want that. I did not want more rejection and athat was all I seemed to get from others then. For thirty-eight weeks he showed me friendship and I, I only showed him the coldness of my Vulcan heritage. I had never known friendship before. I had studied it, read all that I could about how the many known cultures define friendships but I knew nothing about it. I still am unsure as to why he would consider me a friend. Jim, may I ask you something of a somewhat personal nature?Do friends do that?"

"Of course," Kirk was still getting over the surprise of how much of his past Spock was telling with him, how he was being shown something special to his friend.

"If I were a friend then how could I do that? What sort of a friend uses another like I did Steven? In all the years we have been friends you have never used me nor has any of the others whom I consider friends. How could he call me a friend when I had used him like that? If I had done that to you, used you as I did Steven, would you still consider me a friend?"


	9. Chapter 9

Kirk thought of how very difficult it would have been for his Vulcan friend at the Academy. To be so different was not a good thing as there were those who were intimidated by the different. To have been the first Vulcan, to have been so intelligent and different would have made him a target. Over the years Kirk had heard tales from others of "that Vulcan cadet" and there had been tales of the bullying of the cadet who let him share quarters. Remembering all that he had heard had been done to "that traitor cadet" who had taken in "that Vulcan" Kirk found he had to be honest with his friend, "I do not think I would have, at that stage, had the courage to stand against so many."

Spock had met and held his gaze, " But I am sure now you would take on all of Starfleet for what we have."

Without hesitation Kirk had said, "Yes," he smiled, "as well as the Klingon and Romulan forces, just as I know you would do the same for me."

"Agreed. But back then, Jim, when I stood with the Accommodations Officer in front of all the other new cadets I felt so, so vulnerable and so totally alone as I realized just how much I did not fit in on Vulcan nor in a human dominated society. I was not fully prepared for the pure hostility, resentment, and suspicion I sensed from them. I had been so sure none of them would go against the opinion of the others. Even though I had my shielding up I could sense the suspicion and hatred there. I could almost foresee how my father would react, how satisfied he would be that I would go to the VulcanScienceAcademy. And then, then Steven calmly stood up, in front of all two hundred and ninety-nine other cadets who refused me and started to walk towards the stage. There had been something in how he had looked at me, had deliberately walked down the steps without looking away from me, seemingly deaf to what the others were saying, that let me know I was not alone. There had also been something in how he walked up right to me, looked me right in the eyes, made no move to shake my hand, and said, "I'm Steven Harris, good to meet you." that let me know I could trust him."

"I'd heard very different versions of that, Spock. They were from xenophobic people and not at all flattering about him. There were a lot who had ideas as to what should have been done to him for being what they called a traitor to his kind. From what I heard some even took their hatred out on him."

"There were times he could come back to our room and I could see distinctive indications of fighting but he never commented on it. We just never talked about it."

"I heard that too. I heard that most of those who did it, who tried to get him to say he no longer wanted you rooming with him, could not believe he never named them to the authorities which got him some kudos as if he had reported them they would have been out. It also sounded to me like they did more than just fight him." The quick look he got from Spock told him there was much more than just fights.

"I did not keep in touch with him. I did not tell him in person that I was getting better accommodation and access to better computers, I left him a note. Just a note saying where I had moved to, I did not even explain why." For a moment he was quiet and Kirk could tell his Vulcan friend was coming to terms with the conflict of his emotions and his logic that this situation had raised. "As usual I looked at all rosters of new crew and I saw his name on the rotation eighteen months ago but I discounted it as I could not see him in the support position shown. I not only did not follow up on that but when I first saw him I did not even acknowledge him. What sort of friend am I?"

The pain his friend was in was clear to Jim Kirk and he longed to help him but could only briefly put a hand on a narrow shoulder and give a reassuring squeeze, "Don't do this to yourself, Spock. He would have changed in all that time."

Spock slowly shook his bowed head but remained silent for a few seconds longer then said, "He has physically changed as he matured in that he is slightly more muscular and his hair a bit longer but he is still the Steven Harris I knew. I saw it in him. I sensed it in him. He is still Steven."

"And now?"

"I am going to help him as much as I can to find his way back from where what they did to him drove his mind to. Doctor Bar was kind enough to offer to see if he could get a Vulcan healer to assess him here. Once they were informed about what had happened three are coming. What was done to him, what he survived is rare for a Vulcan and ever more rare for a Human. Although it is a good opportunity for them to learn anything that will help with the advancement of healing I **will not** let them be alone with him."

"You, you saw what they," all Spock did was nod but the look on his face spoke volumes to Kirk who knew that face so well. Others would not have seen what he saw, would not have read the signs, but whatever Spock had seen done to his friend had rocked him to his core. That image of Spock carrying Harris out of that room came back to Kirk. Cautiously Kirk reached out and placed a hand on Spock's arm, "I'll stay and help."

"There is no need, Jim. It may take,"

"I'll stay."

For a moment the dark eyes looked into his and Kirk saw relief and suddenly realized what his friend was planning.

"You're not going to meld with him, are you? It is too,"

"No, Jim, not a full meld. I told Doctor McCoy I would not meld with him. I will just see if he will tell me one thing."

"One thing?"


	10. Chapter 10

Briefly Spock looked back at Steven and seemed to pull his Vulcan half closely around him. "I have a strange need to know what it was he would not tell them. What it was that, what he did, what he said that clearly destroyed their mental powers."

"You sure he said or did something?"

"The way they grabbed their heads and cried out before they collapsed was evidence of that, Captain. He clearly said and did something that destroyed that ability. I watched them put pressure on him, pressure I am not sure I could have withstood."

Cautiously Kirk placed a hand on Spock's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze, "You do not know that, Spock."

Under his hand he felt his friend momentarily stiffen then felt a slight trembling, saw Spock's body was slightly shaking, and he gripped Spock's other shoulder and turned him, only to see his friend had his eyes tightly closed and shaking his head, "What? Tell me, Spock. What?"

"I, **I know**, Jim. I do know." when Spock looked up at him Kirk was horrified to see tears around his friend's eyes and such deep anguish in those eyes, "I know as they attacked my mind first. They were going to take turns and slowly rape my mind, I could not fight the three of them and they knew it. They were going to slowly take turns raping my mind but he stopped them and they turned on him. He made them stop and they took their anger out on him. I was aware of a sensation like a burning waterfall of pain over my mind before they turned on him. They were beyond furious that he was able to stop them without them doing damage to me."

For a long time Spock had looked away from him and at Harris, slowly shaking his head, "He dared to challenge them. He had stopped them from doing more to me than letting me know what they were capable of, of what they were going to do, and that they would each enjoy a turn at doing it. They clearly encountered something in his mind that he would not yield to them and that infuriated them. He, he said and did something that stopped them, that severely stunned them, but they had already damaged him. When they started to rape my mind I could not stop them. I could feel their power and sense their delight at what they were going to do. I, I would not have survived it."

"How then did he,"

"I have no idea what he did nor do I know how he did it." Spock looked back at him with misery still on his face, "I **do** know that he stopped them, that he brutally destroyed their mental abilities, and that he did it because of **me**. I also know that they have damaged his mind, Jim. They have hurt his mind but not to his core. I know **he is there**. I do not understand how he can still be there, but he is there. He is there and waiting for me to help him."

"Spock, McCoy told me that he is,"

"Jim, **he is there**. He let me know he is still there. He is waiating for me to help him come back."

"How? McCoy said he was totally unresponsive."

"When I picked him up he was aware, **he knew it was me**, he knew it was over."

Although he wanted to know more, wanted to know how Spock knew he respected his friend's right to privacy. Somehow whatever was between Spock and Steven was something he was not a part of and he had to accept it. There was some bond there, some connection, and Kirk was pleased to know that Spock had had a friend when he was at the Academy. He had heard tales of "that Vulcan cadet and the traitor". Often he had thought how he would like to track down the traitor and thank him for without what he did Spock would not have been able to stay in the Academy and they would never have met. Without what Steven had done he would not have one of his closest friends.

As he watched Spock walked back to the bed and slowly stroked his hands through Steven's hair four times and paused for a moment with his eyes closed, saw him shake, watched almost in horror as Spock removed his hands, clutched tehm and pulled them tightly to his chest as he slowly backed away from Steven with his eyes shut and shaking his head, only stopping when his back pressed against a wall.

Gripping both of Spock's shoulders Kirk gently shook him once, "Spock?"

"He, he would not, would not tell them. He would not tell them."

"Tell them what?"

* * *

**_A/N Will be away for a few days as helping out after the storm. Should be back in five days then give me a day to thaw out as will be going out in the cold southerly gales to check livestock. Enjoy and have fun!_**


	11. Chapter 11

"Gave them misinformation about Starfleet. Impossible scenarios. So many things but he did not tell them about us."

"Us? Us as in you and me?"

Just a slight nod of his head before Spock looked at him, "You and me," Spock looked over at the bed, "and Steven's belief in a friendship with me." In his eyes and gradually over his friend's face Kirk saw a look of wonder and gratitude before he smiled and looked back at him, "As in the past he had layer upon layer of contradictory facts forming a maze. He had a maze to block them. He, he would not tell them of our relationship. He told them obsolete things to do with Starfleet's military capabilities but that was what he would not tell them. He would not tell them what they wanted to know. They have, had no concept of what a friendship is. He would not tell them what a real friendship is."

Something deep inside Kirk felt like somebody had both kicked him in the stomach yet also warmed his heart as he saw the truth of what his friend was saying by the way he was looking at Harris

Again Spock closed his eyes, "They kept questioning him about friendship, about if two different species like you and I could possibly have a friendship, if two of the same species such as he and I could have a friendship. They then asked what he would do to protect this thing called a friendship he had with me. His hostility at the thought of them trying to take that from him was what totally destroyed their minds. He," Spock opened his eyes and looked at Kirk and Kirk saw the pain and confusion there.

"What Spock? He what?"

"He still thinks of me as a friend after all I have done or rather not done over the years. He stills thinks of me as a close friend after how I treated him then and since. How can he still think of me as that, Jim? They were doing that to him because of me and he still thought of me as a friend. When I picked him up I felt it for a moment."

"What did you feel?"

"The, the feeling of relief and love that comes to Human and Vulcans with the recognition of a close friend. A Vulcan would never admit to the feeling but they do know it and possibly long for it. What I do not understand is how he can, after that has happened, still think of me as a friend?'

Kirk looked at him. There had been nobody he had really stayed in contact with from the Academy. Hell, he would be lucky if he knew anybody else who he considered a friend longer than the time he had known Bones. Oh, he could name many people from those days but not as friends. If only Spock knew how, at that moment, he envied him having such a friend who had been there when first needed and who always been watching him, somebody to care like that for that long, a real friend. Yet looking at Spock he knew he had to come up with an answer.

"Spock, you have to realize that everybody sees friends as something different. There are those who make instant friends but those friendships sometimes do not last. There are those who make friends but those friendships do not stand the tests of time. And there are those who let a friendship grow without any real awareness of it forming over a period of time but those friendships last as they have been tested and not found wanting."

"When I was in my second year at the Academy I studied the friendships of those around me and believed that friendship to humans meant to reciprocate one favor for another, a constant balancing act of one favorable action or statement necessitating an equally favorable action or statement in response. I had been without a friend till I went to the Academy and was certain I could get by without one. Then Steven entered my life. Steven had never asked for, nor expected, anything from me. He accepted me as me." It was difficult for Kirk not to grin as he saw the familiar climb of an eyebrow, "Does that equate with a friendship growing without a real awareness? We were, basically, just presences in one another's life for only thirty-eight weeks. Back then I did not understand. You, Jim, have helped me to understand what having a friend really means. Now," Spock looked back at Harris, "now I can attempt to be the friend to him that I should have been."

When Spock suddenly went quiet and just looked kept looking at Harris Kirk got concerned, "What is it?

"I was just thinking about what McCoy told me. That while all his medical learning and his vast experience makes him believe that there is no hope for Steven, he has seen things he considers to be miracles all due to the power of the touch and presence of friends with the patient. He told me that by all the laws of medical science Steven should be dead but he is still alive, that there should be no brain activity but he found unusually chaotic activity in Steven's scans. He also said that," when Spock looked up at him Kirk saw how his friend pressed his lips together and take a deep breath as though to still his emotions.

"McCoy also said that he could remain in that state for the rest of his life. I have heard of it happening to Vulcans as well, of minds being beyond the help of the healers but the body still lives. I will **not** allow that to happen to him, I **will** find a way to help him back."

_Were good friends. Loss. _ Kirk again heard the words. He had been right. Spock was going to need him, especially if Harris did remain as he was. Just for a moment he thought that the best thing would be for Harris to die but then he thought of Spock, of what Spock felt for him. A small part of his mind also was aware of what he owed the man. A small part of his mind made him realize that if Harris had not taken Spock as a room mate so long ago he would not have been in Starfleet and they would never have met. That same part reminded him that he was like that because he had saved Spock.

"No, Spock. You will not find a way to help him." as he spoke he saw a sudden tenseness about Spock and saw a challenge in the dark eyes, "**We** will find a way."

"Jim, I cannot ask you to,"

"I **am** going to help. He first saved my best friend from a life he would have only tolerated and then saved my best friend from having his mind repeatedly raped. I **am** going to help. What can I do?"

That slight wonderful smile just touched Spock's lips but shone from his eyes, "For now, Jim, you can get rested for tomorrow. All I will do is sit with him. There are some scented oils I will apply to him; I will stay in physical contact with him using the Human way of holding his hand. When I picked him up after they had left him I heard him calling to me or for me. He will know I am here, that I **will** find a way to help him come to me from wherever their torture made him retreat to. Like you, right now he needs to rest. When we go to the meeting tomorrow I will have McCoy stay with him as the good doctor had volunteered to do so earlier."

A small part in Kirk smiled as there it was again, the admiration and friendship between his two best friends. So many saw their verbal duels as a sign of animosity but Kirk knew it was a reflection of an admiration and friendship both would deny in front of others. He gave his First Officer a nod as he left, "You just make sure you are rested as well. Meet you for breakfast."

For only a moment Spock thought of pointing out that he did not need as much nourishment as his Captain did but just looked at Kirk and saw the understanding on his face and in his eyes, "At breakfast then."

Instead of going directly to his quarters Kirk went to Sickbay and sat down facing Doctor McCoy. "Spock has him settled."

McCoy looked at Kirk and saw it, the concern mixed with relief. "And?"


	12. Chapter 12

"He tell you what happened?"

"Jim, you know Spock. All he told me was that Harris had been attacked by another who had remarkable telepathic skills." as he looked into the hazel eyes the doctor saw the truth,  
"There was more to it, right?"

Knowing that McCoy would never reveal the information Kirk looked at his friend, "The three were going to damage Spock's brain but the two of them were able to distract them and they attacked Harris. Together they were able to disable them enough to get us free."

For a few minutes there was silence as the two men just looked at each other. Kirk knew he had not told the whole truth and McCoy knew he had not been told everything but enough to understand the full extent of the damage. "It will be hard on Spock when he is taken off the ship then. That blasted Vulcan will find a way to blame himself. All that fine talk about what is, is. Poppycock! You've seen how he gets. Can you imagine how he will feel when Harris is removed from the ship? He will feel some form of indebtedness to Harris for it. He clearly feels some form of guilt for it."

"Bones,"

"Now don't you tell me that bunk about Vulcan not having feelings as we both know they do. They just decided not to be so open about them as us mere Humans."

Once Kirk had gone Spock carefully sat on the bed and gently took hold of Steven's right hand. Wave after wave of the mental torment and confusion his friend was suffering came through the touch like a series of tsunami waves before he shielded himself for it. Only for a moment did he allow himself to fear that the pain had forever taken that creative and caring mind and silenced that friendly yet decisive voice. How could it not have taken them after the force those three had used? He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he tried to think only of Steven now, not how he was nor how he could be, just as he was and how he would be reassured to know he was not alone.

_"Spock. You okay? Spock. You okay? Spock. You okay? " _It was very faint now but it was still there. Very slowly Spock exhaled. Somehow through the cauldron of pain Steven was calling for him, was wondering if he was alright. How like the Steven he remembered, the Steven who would wake during the night to find him still working on the computer and ask if he was okay. No need for words as Steven accepted the nod he would give him.

Carefully he reached out for the small container of some herbal oils, a blend of both Vulcan and Earth herbs, and using his free hand opened it and got some on his middle and index fingers. While planning to have Steven in his quarters Spock had found the recipe for it in the file his mother had given him so many years ago of home remedies she had used. A human who had married and Vulcan and combined to properties from both world into so many of her remedies have proven beneficial many times. Slowly he rubbed the small amount lightly under Steven's nose and waited.

Gradually the tremors that had been shaking Steven's body ceased and his breathing was deeper. "_Spock. Spock are you okay?" _Gently he briefly laid a hand on Steven's forehead, "I **am** here, Steven, and I am okay. You rest. I am here. You rest." Slowly Steven's breathing became more regular and his face was more relaxed. While McCoy's medications had initially helped control the spasms Spock was as aware as the doctor that there was a limit as to how much Steven's body would tolerate of them while this, this oil was all natural and while harmless it was effective. He was thankful his mother had given him the file and silently thanked her as he adjusted the blanket covering Steven.

McCoy arrived thirty-seven minutes before Spock was due to be at the meeting. He came carrying a tray and set it on Spock's desk, removed the cover to reveal some Vulcan tea and toast with two spreads. "Eat, Spock." When he hesitated McCoy looked at him, "You want that to be an order?"

"I will eat, Doctor. Thank you for brining me breakfast."

McCoy looked down at Steven and noticed a change in the man, "He is breathing easier and seems more at ease. A Vulcan treatment?"

"That jar by the bed, Doctor, is a herbal blend I rubbed under his nose last night. My mother used to use it on me as a child when I was either restive or had muscular spasms."

McCoy took the lid off and lightly sniffed the contents before quickly resealing it and putting it down by the bed as he felt his eyes tearing, "There is lavender in that and something that would strip paint."

"There is lavender and three Vulcan herbs. I have been applying it every three point six hours. If you would not mind,"

"Just tell me when you want me to do it."

"In another one point four one hours."

"Right. Anything else I should do?"


	13. Chapter 13

"Just sit holding his hand. I will leave the meeting as soon as I am not longer required."

Even to himself he felt like a fool asking the question as he knew there was no way there would ever be any change in Harris's condition but he knew the Vulcan still believed there would be, "Is there any change you are expecting might occur that I should really be aware of?"

Those dark eyes seems to look so deep into him that McCoy knew Spock would not give up on Harris's recovery any more than he would for Jim's or even his and possibly most of the bridge crew. "If I have followed my mother's instructions correctly it should basically just affect that part of his brain that causes the muscular spasms. While my mother has told me she believes it can also stimulate muscular reaction to outside stimuli that has never been proven,"

When Spock paused and looked almost searchingly at him McCoy nodded knowing how so much of what Spock believed in was based strictly on things that could be scientifically proven. He was not prepared when Spock continued "but my mother happens to be a very intelligent and wise woman with an enviable knowledge of what was called the herbal arts in homeopathy. While the possibility of there being any other change apart for the relaxation in his breathing is too small to calculate I must admit that a part of me, most likely the Human part, wants to believe it is possible. You will advise me of any changes?"

"Yes, Spock." McCoy watched as Spock slowly reached out and took Steven's hand in his own for a moment then placed it back on the bed. As he looked at him McCoy and wondered how he would take the next piece of news. "I have been informed that three Vulcan healers will be here within the next ten hours."

Just the momentary hesitation in Spock's movement toward the door let McCoy know he was annoyed. Gary Bars, Starfleet's top neurological specialist had clearly told them of Steven Harris as there was a neurological conference being held on the medical station just three days travel away at warp five. As McCoy watched Spock seemed to chew his bottom lip, "Ten hours. I shall be prepared for them."

How close McCoy had been to saying that it was not a war but stopped himself. Perhaps this would be. When the healers had expressed an interest in Steven there had been no way to misunderstand Spock when he had said, "They are** not** going to be alone with him. **I will be there at all times**. They may see him but they **will not** physically examine him."

"You just go along and I will let you know," McCoy stood and for a moment Spock was surprised when McCoy reached out and, instead of grasping his hand as Spock had expected, extended three fingers up his sleeve, "if there is any change." Then he felt something pressed against his wrist just above the cuff line and, without looked, knew what the doctor had done. A modified transmitter. A small one use device that would alert him if there was any change with Steven. McCoy could activate it and he would know.

Spock had long believed McCoy had this cunning steak, to make such a gesture seem like an accidental attempt at a handshake,"Thank you, Doctor McCoy."

Kirk nodded as Spock met him in the rec room and had first felt a bit guilty as he had been ravenous when he woke and had had an early meal, a drunken vegetable pie and was just about to get a second cup of coffee when Spock walked in.

"He is resting. McCoy is with him."

"You know they are going to ask a lot of questions today?"

"I am prepared, Jim."

Kirk looked at his coffee for a moment then up at Spock as he sipped a cup of Vulcan tea, "l am not sure what Ribton is going to want to know. I feel sure that Peter Glenn is on our side but Ribton has the clout."

"I **will not** tell them all of what happened to Steven, Jim, nor what happened in that room."

"Wouldn't expect you to."

"They will expect you to,"

Spock saw the mischievous smile touch the hazel eyes before the lips curled into that rascally smile, "And since when do I do what is expected?"

They walked into the room together in the silence of friendship, Spock just a half-step behind Kirk and on his right side as usual. Kirk could tell that Spock was in his Vulcan mode and he knew that he was also ready for whatever they may be asked. Although he had not been in that other room with Spock and Harris he had heard a great deal and had seen the end result when the door had opened. He had seen the three beings on the floor gripping their heads, the leader looking panicked and horrified, and Spock carrying Harris secure in his arms. There had been only those screams of the three and then the loud, almost shouting voice, of the leader saying that they had the superior warriors, officers, and telling his guards to let him go and to go. Just from how Spock had looked and acted he knew something brutal, something very serious, and something that had shaken his friend to his core had happened.

"Good to see you again, Captain Kirk. Also good to see you today, Mister Spock." The representative from Command, Thomas Ribton, who was chairing the meeting nodded at them. "We have a great deal to cover today as we have received a very favorable report from the planet's ruling party thanking us for expediting the surrender of the last pockets of rebels. Clearly whatever you did down there apart from completing your assigned mission impressed them to the degree of granting the Federation sole use of their ports."

The others all muttered in agreement and praised their achievements.

Ribton held up his hand and there was silence, "But we are interested in exactly what did happen down there. What was it you did that got that result?"

While Kirk quickly glanced at Spock the Vulcan was looking at something beyond the chairman, beyond even the room. Having known the Vulcan for so long Kirk knew that his friend was remembering the events. It was clear to him that Spock would not say what had taken place. He had sent a report to them, they had discussed it the day before. He had not said what had happened in that room and Kirk was not about to.

"I can tell you" Kirk was aware of just the slightest move from Spock but Kirk kept his eyes locked on Ribton, "that we used what those in Command call cowboy tactics. They seemed to fit the problem we confronted and worked."

"While we would expect that from you, Kirk, I think we would all have some difficulty seeing Mister Spock participating in any of your cowboy tactics. Mister Spock, what is your version of what happened?"

"I must agree with what Captain Kirk said. We did employ what could only be termed what Captain Kirk refers to as cowboy tactics. As we have discovered on other occasions when we have used the same tactics our opponents were not ready for such actions and it was the same in this case. The rebel leader was not prepared at all for our actions."

All ten of the senior officers looked at one another and it was clear that they were wanting more information.

"Mister Spock, please elaborate on what is meant by cowboy tactics in this situation."


	14. Chapter 14

"By the use of the term cowboy tactics in this situation I am referring to the basic meaning of the term. The basic meaning of the term refers to the application of methods that best suit the situation and are usually more of an reactionary response to a need than a logically considered form of action. Such actions are usually rough but effective methods of getting something done akin to the ways used by the humans on Earth in the late eighteenth and early nineteenth century on North America who lived rurally and were known as cowboys. Their ways did not, of necessity, follow form but were what was required to achieve the required result. The term cowboy tactics stems from that."

Briefly Spock looked at Kirk and Kirk saw a ghost of a smile on his First Officer's lips before he looked back directly at Ribton, "Had it been to do with those rural workers in Russia at the same time a fellow crewmember aboard the Enterprise would call it Cossack tactics. But the term does apply to this situation is basic. The Captain, Officer Harris, and myself were in a situation where we used creative effective and what could be considered rough methods to accomplish our goals. Therefore the Captain was correct in his use of the term cowboy tactics as that is what we employed."

"Oh. Ah, well, yes, I see. Was there any particular method that we could inform other crews about so they could be used in a similar situation?"

"Not that I am free to discuss."

There was no mistaking that Spock's reply had surprised the group as they all looked at each other then at Kirk.

"I believe what Mister Spock means is that what was used there was appropriate for that situation and possibly not for another. I am sure after how badly this whole training mission turned out you would not be doing it again."

"Can you at least tell us how Officer Harris was disabled?"

"As is clearly stated in my report Officer Harris was attacked by the rebels and reacted. One of the rebels attempted to form a form of a mental link with him that failed but only after it did damage to Officer Harris's mind. It is all in my report." As Kirk watched Spock shifted slightly in his chair, then steepled his fingers as he rested his hands on the table and looked at Ribton, "Am I incorrect in believing that we were summoned to discuss the actions of the cadets who were on the Enterprise in more detail than was in our reports? Was it not your intention to have them aboard the Enterprise so that we could give you an assessment of their performance aboard a starship?"

Just for a moment Kirk was sure that Spock would get checked for his comments but those around the table all nodded.

Cadet by cadet they went through the actions of the cadets while on the Enterprise and then on the planet. It was clear the others appreciated their input and Kirk was surprised at how exact Spock was with the actions of some of the cadets, he had clearly remembered more of the minor moments that could later cause the cadet problems unless corrected in further training.

"In summation regarding the cadets, were there any cadets you would consider totally unsuitable for command positions, Mister Spock?"

"Cadets Williams and Daniels exhibited almost a compulsion for exactness and a near obsession with following the set rules and procedures which led to their lack of ability to consider alternative options. In a command position it is essential to be able to consider both the exact while following procedures yet also be unafraid to challenge those same rules and forego logic in some instances. Their attempts to be strictly logical and to rigorously follow, to the letter, the dictates of the Federation greatly hinders their ability to effectively deal with the constantly changing conditions encountered in a command role." Spock looked briefly at Kirk and Kirk nodded as he fully understood what his friend was not saying.

"Then your recommendations would be what?"

"I would recommend that they not be considered for command training but be shown that perhaps their careers in Starfleet would be best found in the administrative aspects. Neither of them should be allowed on a starship or any deep space craft. While the other cadets showed some talent and ability to absorb the changing situations thrust upon those in command they need much more time to develop the skills necessary to overcome some latent fears they had before they should go on deep space missions."

"Oh, one final matter. We believe that Vulcan healers are due to arrive shortly to examine Officer Harris."

"They are coming strictly to discuss with Doctor McCoy Officer Harris's condition and the best possible treatment." While Kirk knew the others would not have heard it Kirk had. That very slight change in his voice to indicate certainty.

"As the rebels possessed some sort of weapon that caused irreversible brain damage we must be told what their **examination of him** reveals." Ribton looked briefly at Spock then steadily at Kirk, "We need to know about the weapon they used. They very well may be able to find out what details are locked in his mind that Mister Spock may not be aware of regarding their weapon. We need to know about their weapon to while the Vulcans healers are here they will examine him for us."

Another slight shift alerted Kirk and before Spock could say anything Kirk glared at Ribton, "That will not happen to any one of my officers, Sir."

"Kirk, you must know that we need to know about such a weapon. You saw what it has done to one of your officers. Just imagine what the likes of it could do if the rebels got more. We must know and,"

"If you had read our reports you would know such an action will not be necessary. It is in our reports. The weapon was **totally destroyed**. It was the **only one they had **and Mister Spock, with Officer Harris's assistance, was able to destroy it. Without their weapon and any way to replicate it the rebels were powerless. I believe, gentlemen, that you also may not be aware that any respectable Vulcan would never enter the mind of another being without the concent of that being. Such an action as you are proposing in their eyes constitures mental rape. Now, I believe we have covered everything related to the mission."

All of them looked at one another but Ribton just looked at Spock, "So, Mister Spock, you saw the weapon. You will now fully describe it to us and verify that it has been destroyed."


	15. Chapter 15

"It was destroyed."

"But what,"

Kirk looked at Spock and saw the momentary plea before Spock gave a short almost imperceptible nod, "Correct me if I am wrong, Mister Spock, but in my report I described the weapon as you described it to me immediately on return to the ship. It was a hand-operated device that fitted on or was placed on the head of the victim and a form of electrical current passed through it causing mild to severe disruption the brain functions. What the rebels tried was, as I heard the leader say, the only one they had and it was destroyed beyond any sort of salvaging by yourself and Officer Harris. Is that correct?"

"That is correct."

"And you also stated that the weapon only operated when in direct contact with the victim and was, therefore, totally unsuitable for anything but a one-on-one hand-to-hand combat situation and highly impractical against the likes of phasers."

"That is also correct."

Ribton seemed to accept it but Kirk saw the uncertain look on some of the other faces, they all looked like they wanted more details.

When he looked at Captain Peter Glenn the man looked at him, at Spock for a moment, then back at him. Just for a moment the others did not exist. It was just two men who had been out there where there is not immediate help, two men who were responsible for the lives of crews of over three hundred, two men who understood the other's position. Kirk doubted if the others saw it although he suspected Spock might have realized that a private conversation was going on.

Finally Glenn blinked. That was it. An affirmation. "Gentlemen," Glenn looked at the others, "Before anybody asks or says anything else I wish to reiterate what I said before this event. My ship and crew are experienced in training and assessing cadets while Captain Kirk and his ship and crew are not. To have used such an experienced crew as is found on the Enterprise was appalling. That command crew, the whole crew in fact, as well as that ship and its reputation under the command of James Kirk, is far too valuable, not just to Starfleet but also the Federation, to be wasted in exercises such as this. I am sure most of the cadets will long remember what happened on this exercise but there was no real time to give them proper instruction, there was no chance for them to attempt what had to be done, and they were totally unprepared for it which put the whole exercise, the ship, and the crew of the Enterprise at risk. The exercises we put them through usually have an exit for them, a way out of trouble. This did not. This sort of training is too real for them and too risky for the likes of the Enterprise's top command team to be involved in. As I said before this all debacle started, it is not the Enterprise's role to be a training ship. It is the finest ship of the fleet with the finest crew in the fleet. I say to all of you here that to use the Enterprise and her crew as was just done is, to me and should be to all of you now, an incomprehensible and almost immoral waste of time, machinery, and personnel."

"We admit that we may have made a mistake but we did gain sole access to their ports, something we have been working on for years." Ribton sounded smug about it, "They had been plagued for those years by these rebels and our helping them regain control of the rebellious faction got us that right."

Anger flared in Kirk but before he could say anything Glenn was on his feet and barely contained rage radiated from his stance and the way he had his hand pressing almost through the table, "**How dare you****! You lied to Kirk and to me! **You said that there were just pockets of rebel resistance there and that it was largely controlled. You told us that we would encounter nothing out of the ordinary. You," Ribton was clearly stunned by Glenn's stare, "you said, and I quote, _There is a small rebel pocket but nothing to be concerned about. _**Nothing** to be concerned about? **Nothing**? If Kirk had not been there with his officers you would have had not just one officer in critical condition but sixteen bodies. Now I will admit I was not on the ground with my officers as **you** had ordered me to stay on my ship but from what my officer told me and what is in their reports they were in major trouble down there and those six cadets were next to useless and only Kirk and his two senior officers knew what to do."

"Officer Harris is not a senior officer, he is **just an officer**!" Ribton stood and flared back then became aware of the silence. Kirk saw the totally stunned expressions on the other faces as they looked at Ribton. It was clear they had not known all that had been told to either himself or Glenn about the mission. While that had not shocked Kirk so much it had been the way he had said just an officer that stuck a nerve.

Glenn was almost the picture of barely controlled fury as he met the glare of Ribton with the thousand mile stare of one in a personal battle they will win at all costs, his voice a total contradiction. It was low and soft, controlled so that every was a sharp, fine-bladed knife cutting deeper and deeper in thin slices, "You, Sir, are just an officer. We all are just officers. Not one of us is more than that. We are all expendable officers. To say what you just did makes me wish that you were going through ten times the absolute hell that Officer Harris has, and continues to be going through. You have no idea what it is like out there now. I know your record, Sir. You got to where you are by hiding behind a desk and believing in theory and rules. By all the known gods I swear I am going to ensure that you get pulled from behind that wall of protocol and procedures and thrown onto a non-aligned planet as an enlisted officer so you know what really goes on out there. No high rank, just an officer like the rest of us. Before these witnesses and no matter how long it takes me I will ensure that you rue the day you called anybody wearing a uniform just an officer."

When he finished Kirk knew he had read the man right. They looked at each other and Kirk had nodded and Glenn had nodded back.

After a few seconds of total silence Ribton started, "Well, well."


	16. Chapter 16

Another member of the panel looked first at Glenn and then at Kirk, "On behalf of the panel as well as Starfleet I want to thank you two and your respective crews from what you did. Whatever the weapon was it has been destroyed and is of no threat. The planet is set to sign an agreement with the Federation, and you and your crew have shown the cadets what a command team is and what they have **yet to learn**. Captain Kirk, you may be certain that the Enterprise will not be used again as an assessment vessel. Captain Glenn, I, and I believe most here, agree that we have been away from the frontline for far too long. It is my intention to propose that, on a regular routine, all those at Command must spend time seeing first hand what is happening out there. I cannot speak for all of us but I am sure most of us would like to know what is the condition of,"

"Officer Harris is being taken care of by Doctor McCoy. So far there has been no significant change. I will be reporting on his status in my reports."

"Very good. Well, we will not delay you any longer. Thank you, gentlemen, for your assistance in all matters."

As they all left the room Peter Glenn came over to them, "Captain Kirk, Mister Spock, it **was** an adventure but one I could have done without and I believe you feel the same. I will pray that all goes well for Officer Harris. Now, if you'll excuse me I have a ship to run."

"As do I and that was some speech."

"I agree with Captain Kirk, that was a **most** instructive, if emotional, speech and I have no doubt that you would fulfill what you stated Live long and," suddenly the transmitter shocked him and he paused, " prosper, Captain Glenn."

Once they were headed back to the Enterprise Spock turned and looked at Kirk, "Thank you, Jim. I was not expecting to have to describe the so-called weapon. Your description was correct from a certain way of viewing it."

"Neither was I but it did not surprise me as they have been away from the action for so long they feel they have to know every small detail about what happened. They seem to forget how easily hands can be weapons." Kirk paused for a moment and waited for Spock to turn and face him. "And thank you for telling them exactly what those two pains needed. I am not sure I could have been so exact and diplomatic."

A hint of a smile touched Spock lips, "I did find Captain Glen's somewhat emotional outburst to be most enlightening but most undiplomatic. Commendable in a somewhat reckless way."

"Yeah, that was the Peter Glenn I remember. A very quiet guy who you **did not** want to annoy. I can just bet that between now and whenever Ribton gets sent out on a mission, Command is going to get a steady and regular series of requests for when that will happen from him. He gets to be like an itch you cannot scratch."

"While I would not phrase it that way I understand what you mean and he does seem to be that sort of man. May I ask something of you, Jim?"

"Of course."

"Can you be available to be present when the Vulcan healers are here? I am most unsure as to how I may react as I am uncertain as to which healers are coming or exactly what they expect."

"I will be there."

While Spock had been away McCoy had sat holding the hand of Steven Harris and wondered what the connection was between him and that walking computer. If ever there were two more different beings to be have anything but a confrontational relationship he had not met them and yet here the proof there was some sort of a harmonious relationship between the polar opposites. He nodded to himself as he knew that Spock was capable of being friends with humans but he had not seen the Vulcan spending much time with Harris. Whatever had been done to Harris had more to do with Spock than Spock had mentioned All that Spock had said was that Harris had been attacked by powerful telepaths. It was the use of two words that let McCoy know there was much more. _Attacked_ and _telepaths_. As he looked at Harris he felt a moment of guilt as he was pleased that it was Harris there and not Spock. Although everything he knew, all the studies he had read, indicated that there was no hope for a patient to recover from what all the scans had revealed about the damage that had been done to Harris's brain, there was a part of McCoy hoped that Spock's crazy Vulcan mumbo-jumbo would work.

There was a beep on the communicator on Spock's desk and Uhura's voice, "Doctor McCoy, I have a private encrypted message for you from Starfleet Command. Shall I,"

"Just sent it to here, thanks Uhura."

"How is he doing?"

"No change, I'll let you know if there is."

"Thank you. Sending now."

It took only a few moments to decipher the message and McCoy smiled to him self and quickly sent a copy of the decrypted message to Spock's private message board and a copy to Steven's records. If he needed to use **it** he knew where **it** was

McCoy silently laughed at his slowness as it was not until he was reaching to adjust the blanket covering Harris that he realized what was unusual about Spock's quarters. The temperature of the room was set at Human normal. Clearly Harris was special to Spock as usually it was only for him or Jim that he almost automatically lowered the temperature setting although some of the bridge crew and Scotty had said if they were there for long Spock would lower it.

Gently he placed a hand on Harris's cheek, "I wish I could do something more for you. You mean something special to a special friend of mine and I do not know how he will react to what is to happen with you. I could not tell him of where I know you will be taken. Even though you will get the best of care there Spock will not think so. I have seen how he is when Jim is injured, have seen him how he has been when I have been a patient. Goes all Vulcan and withdraws like you would not believe. You should have seen him before Jim got through that Vulcan wall, a walking computer."

There was a beep and McCoy smiled. He had set a timer to remind him to apply more of that oil. Despite what that Vulcan might say McCoy had taken a warm cloth and wiped away the traces of the last application before massaging another lot under Steven's nostrils. It was undeniable that Harris's breathing was easier but there was still that chaos in the readings for his brain. Whatever had been done to him had caused major disruption and damage.

From the small pack McCoy had brought with him he took out a comb and combed Harris's hair before deciding that he had time to give Harris a sponge bath, something he had done for Jim and Spock a few times over the years knowing they, especially the Vulcan, would prefer he do it than a nurse. There were muscular spasms but nothing McCoy had not expected and he realized just how muscular Harris was. Muscles clearly of a worker who used his body and not those of one who just worked on getting muscles. To think of them wasting away.

No. McCoy stopped himself mid-stroke down Harris's right upper arm with the warm cloth. That had **not been a spasm**


	17. Chapter 17

Calmly McCoy again dipped the cloth in the moderately hot water, took a hold of Harris's right hand, and gently started to stroke down the raised arm again. There, right there on the posterior side. A reaction. That was no spasm. That was a reaction to outside stimuli. Two more times he did it then tried it on the left arm. A faint reaction but still a reaction. An awareness. McCoy stopped again and looked at Harris, "I'll be damned but that blasted Vulcan just might be right with all this old-fashioned hybrid Earth and Vulcan oil hokum."

Spock had all but bolted from the transporter room when they materialized back on the Enterprise. He had glanced briefly at Kirk and simply said, "Steven."

"What?" Spock challenged McCoy as he bolted into his own quarters. He had not meant for it to sound quite like the demand it had but he knew McCoy would understand.

"Faint reaction to outside stimuli in the upper extremities."

"What about his lower extremities?"

"I didn't notice any,"

Spock had carefully pulled the blanket off Harris's legs and McCoy again dipped the cloth in the moderately hot water and gently started to stroke down the exposed right leg. For the first two strokes there was nothing then, on the inner side of both lower legs the reaction. An almost instantaneous exchange of looks between McCoy and Spock before McCoy that Kirk saw and understood. There was hope.

"But nothing elsewhere. I checked his back, abdomen, and chest after I got that reaction and nothing."

"Is the reaction in his legs the same as in his arms?

"It is similar but not quite as pronou..," McCoy snapped his fingers, "Slow return of sensation to extremities indicates,"

"Improvement in mental activity. **He ****is**** coming back, Jim**." when Spock briefly looked up at him Kirk could not remember seeing so many conflicting emotions on his friend's face but the main one was ecstatic relief, "He knows **I** **am**, **we** **are** here for him, helping him."

Without a word McCoy stood so Spock could sit. As he sat Spock picked up Harris's hand and gave it a squeeze before just letting it rest flat on his open palm, "**I am here**, Steven. I am back. I will not be leaving you again. Steven if," briefly Spock looked at Kirk then at McCoy before looking back at Steven, "if you can hear me, Steven, move a finger, any finger." For a few moments there was nothing and Spock reached out and put his other hand on top of Steven's, "I know you can hear me, Steven, just as I knew then and before. I need you to show me now you know it is me." Then took his hand away so that Steven's hand was again just resting on his other hand.

Kirk had glanced at McCoy and saw in the doctor's blue eyes he had head to too, the half-plea and half-order in Spock's voice. Then, for a long time Kirk was aware the three of them just watched and he wondered if McCoy and Spock were asking whatever gods there be to help Harris. Slowly, very slowly the fingers moved, splitting between the middle finger and ring finger and then the thumb slowly moved from the index finger and both Kirk and McCoy heard the faint laugh Spock gave before he reached out and briefly touched the side of Harris's face, "Understood. **Understood**." There was not escaping the joy in Spock's voice, "You rest now, Steven. I will be with you till you are fully back. You have done enough for now. Rest."

McCoy cleared his throat and Spock looked up at him, "Spock, you do realize that,"

"While I am aware this might be the limit of his recovery, **he can communicate**, Doctor. He does **know and understand**."

Kirk felt torn, unsure of what to say to his Vulcan friend. That there was a very close relationship was undeniable and he knew that he would be present to support Spock when Harris was taken from the ship to a medical facility. Nothing was more certain to him than how he would have to be there to make Spock see it was the best for Harris. That voice in his head laughingly said, "_You keep telling yourself it is the best for Harris when it really is the best for you_."

"Captain Kirk to Transporter Room. Captain Kirk to Transporter Room. Our guests have arrived."

"Doctor?" Spock had looked at McCoy and the two just looked at one another. For all their differences Kirk knew they also had a great friendship and he knew so much as being said in that look.

Finally McCoy confirmed what their silent had been about, "I'll be right back with them, Jim, and GaryBars. You just stay with him. He needs you more than they do."

As they walked to the transporter Kirk could tell McCoy was getting apprehensive and knew how uncomfortable he was around Vulcan healers and how almost overly protective of his patients McCoy could be. "Just breathe, Bones. You will get through this."

"I just hope it works out for the best."

Clearly the three Vulcans that stepped down from the platform were total Vulcans, inscrutable expressions and that stiff posture. GaryBars gave Kirk a smile, "Captain Kirk, this is Doctor Sturos, Doctor T'Tenp, and Doctor Skoplk. They have come to see Officer Harris."

"Correction, Doctor Bars, we have come to **examine** him. We have studied both your report and that of Doctor McCoy and have never known any being, including Vulcans, to break the mind tap of even one trained Crannalian. They are a distant relative of Vulcans but they were banished from Vulcan before the Reform for they took delight in violently taking the thoughts of others. They made of game of individually and collectively raping the mind of a victim before killing them, sometimes taking days to do so, especially if that victim were a Vulcan. But we are wasting time with needless formalities."

Both Kirk and McCoy exchanged a glance. Now there was a fact Spock had not told them. While they had been prisoners and those three had walked in Kirk had thought there was a hint of the Vulcan about them but there was more of a Human look to them.

As soon as they all walked into Spock's quarters Spock was clearly on the defensive, leaving Steven to stand blocking access into the sleeping alcove. "Greetings Doctors Sturos, T'Tenp, and Skoplk. It is good to see you again Doctor Bars as there has been a change in Steven's status. He is displaying minimal muscular reaction to applied outside stimuli."

"We were not informed that the subject was not in a proper medical facility. This is highly improper and illogical. How can he be thoroughly and properly examined here? You must move him to a proper medical facility immediately so we may fully examine him."

"**Both** Doctor Bars and I agreed that this was the **best place** for Officer Harris as he," McCoy was looking at the three healers and Kirk could tell he was getting riled by their attitude, "may remember Spock before he remembers us."

The three Vulcans looked at one another then at Spock but before they could say anything McCoy continued, "It is common for Humans to remember who they were with at such times. Spock was with him."

"As was Captain Kirk and yet we are not in **his** quarters."


	18. Chapter 18

"Yes, he was but," as McCoy spoke Spock was wondering if the doctor was capable of not falling victim to Skoplk's use of words and logic without either saying too much or losing his temper, "Officer Harris and Spock have worked **together** longer and he only has had limited official time with the captain so he would recognize Spock more readily than he would the captain. They were down there **together**, they faced those who tortured them **together**, and they came back **together**. When we discussed it, when we thought of what would be **best for the patient**, this was logical and still is. At no time is he alone and," McCoy looked at Spock, "apart from attending a debriefing and standing there now, Spock has been with him and monitoring him."

"But why is he in Spock's quarters? Surely you would want to examine him as such an event is rare."

From the way McCoy crossed his arms Spock could tell he was having difficulty not saying what he wanted to, "I am dealing with a **Human patient. **Now I do not know how many Human patients you have dealt with who have been severely traumatized but I know what a severely traumatized Human patient needs and a medical bed is **not** what he needs should he recover. He will need to feel safe and a comfortable bed is better than the firm medical ones. He will need peace and quiet and a warm place and these quarters are the most peaceful, quiet, and decidedly the warmest place on the ship."

"That is all very good, Doctor McCoy, but we came here to examine him," the three started forward but Spock did not move.

Despite the usual high temperature in Spock's quarters there was an icy fury in the words "**You will not touch him**." that stopped even the Vulcans.

T'Tenp recovered first, "We were told we could see him."

"You can **see** him from where you stand."

"You would not know what to look for." T'Tenp started. "You,"

Skoplk interrupted and all but challenged Spock, "How can you possibly help him? You are **only** **half-Vulcan**."

_Why does that matter_? Kirk asked himself and could see it also on McCoy's face.

"Spock, if I might I would like to **just touch** his mind." The one Kirk remembered was Sturos took a half-step forward and looked at Spock, "You will be there and if you can you should hold his hand as reassurance and to observe that I only** touch** his mind. All I need is to just **touch** his mind for but a moment to assess the extent of damage that still exists. We have seen all the initial scans."

After looking at him for a moment Spock stepped aside and Sturos walked into the sleeping alcove. When the other two started to follow Spock reacted, "**Kroykah!** You will not move."

Through the grill work they watched as Spock sat on the bed and again took Harris's hand and nodded. Sturos placed his hands on Harris's head, his fingers finding the contact points and closed his eyes. The touch lasted only a standard minute if that and Sturos had moved his hands twice then opened his eyes and removed his hands. When Spock looked up he saw of near total awe on Sturos's face as well as a deep sadness. Only when Sturos became aware of being closely watched did he seem to pull himself together and gradually total impassiveness was on his face. He did give Spock the slightest of nods but Spock fully understood what was not said although he sensed something hidden, something Sturos would not talk of here. Spock gently placed Steven's hand back on the bed and stood, making it clear that he would stop any attempt by anybody else to get close to Steven.

As he walked out to join the others, Spock right behind him, Sturos had looked back at Harris with a strange look, a look of wonder yet sorrow, before he looked at the other two healers, "It is as we hypothesized. **No**** Vulcan mind could have survived** what was done to him. It appears most of his mind has been shredded beyond repair. There is a small part of his mind they repeatedly attacked. Something precious to him is very well protected. Not knowing what his mind was like before does not matter in this case as it seems much of what was there is part of the present extensive damage to his mind: it is a chaotic jumble. As it was before, they left it in ruins after all their probing. The only undamaged part is that which they could not reach: it is a very small part but it is intact. He would be an interesting study."

"**He is not a study** he is,"

Kirk saw the flash of anger about Spock's eyes and clearly McCoy had as well, "**My patient** and I had delegated his palliative non-medical care to Mister Spock in his quarters."

"Mister Spock, we have heard of your scientific works and studies. Do you not realize what a rare opportunity this presents for medical specialists to study the full extent of what such an assault on a human mind does? There is no record of such an assault ever being studied and," Skolpk looked at McCoy, "you, Doctor McCoy, just stated you had delegated. Had. Past tense. Being a doctor with the reputation you have I am sure you he know what studying him could show the medical world."

McCoy looked briefly at Skolpk then at Spock. Kirk saw how they were looking, really looking, at each other. No, it was, he realized, not just at but into one another. McCoy slowly nodded his head with a sad look on his face, "You know, Mister Spock, Doctor Skolpk is correct. I did ask you to bring him down here and watch him but did not tell you for how long." Kirk noticed how Spock seemed to bite his bottom lip but did not look away from McCoy. "Doctor Skolpk is also correct in what we can learn from him. Taking all that into account," briefly Kirk saw McCoy looked at GaryBars, at the three Vulcans, at him, then back at Spock, "I have changed my mind."

Nothing had prepared Kirk for that and he saw not only what could pass as smugness of the faces of T'Tenp and also Skolpk, but also how it had completely surprised Spock, "Doctor,"

Faster than the snapping of fingers McCoy turned into the fighting dynamo he was when it came to his patients, "Yes, I, Leonard McCoy, Chief Medical Officer of the starship Enterprise, under the powers given to me by that position, hereby, in front of these witnesses, entrust the care of Officer Steven Ian Harris to you, Science Officer Spock of the same ship. You are to care for him, to **immediately **report only to myself **any** changes you observe, and to keep him secure and **safe**. As I have been observing and treating the patient since shortly after the attack and as he is part of the crew of this ship his care has been, and remains, strictly **my responsibility**. Should you be required on the bridge I will be with him and should I be needed elsewhere in your absence I will have one of my **senior officers** caring for him. Do you fully understand what you are being given sole charge of and do you accept that responsibility before these witnesses?"

What McCoy had just done dawned on Spock as he looked into the blue eyes. There was no way Steven would be taken off the ship. This was letting him care for Steven here, in his quarters where he was safe. Once again he had witnessed another display of how well, despite his emotionalism and leaps into fantasy, McCoy understood him and could use his rank and position to do something logical.

"Yes, I fully understand, Doctor McCoy, and **I do accept** the responsibility as stated." While he wanted to say more he saw the slight nod McCoy gave him with a slight upturn of his lips the others would not discern.

"Doctor Bars, you **must** be able to stop this. We **must** be able to study him. There is so much we could learn from examining him further."

Bars looked at Spock, McCoy, and then at Kirk for a moment. "Captain Kirk, as you are aware I outrank Doctor McCoy and yourself in medical matters. There are records of those who died after such attacks for the mind, records done on cadavers, nothing on anybody who survived. You must know that the opportunity to study a survivor may never happen again."

"I am aware of the chain of command and I understand the significance of my officer surviving the assault." Kirk saw what would pass for a Vulcan "we won" look exchanged among the three Vulcans and did not want to look at Spock or Bones as they would know the power and authority that Bars had as well.

* * *

**_A/N Once again the real world has conspired against me _****_in my attempt to retype all the stories written in the 1980's and I will not be back for about four days. Note to self – in the next life do not be a first responder nor a volunteer. Take care all and HAVE FUN._**


	19. Chapter 19

"**Good**, because I am sure that Mister Spock and Doctor McCoy also appreciate the chain of command." He had looked at both McCoy and Spock, "It is important that you do. I also know that Vulcans follow tradition and rank and file. That also is good. As I am the senior officer present I must say I totally agree with Doctor McCoy's method of treatment. I have seen how this crew, and Mister Spock in particular, is with caring about and for Steven Harris. I have also seen how the crew of this ship has modified their rosters to ensure that there is always an extra three crew members on the bridge to immediately step in should **anything** happen to Steven and the senior officers be needed here. I have seen how the crew has made sure that Captain Kirk and Doctor McCoy eat and rest. With Mister Spock's care and Doctor McCoy's close observation I know not only will we receive regular ongoing precise reports on his condition but also that there is absolutely no better care he could receive anywhere else but aboard this ship. Officer Steven Ian Harris hereby **remains aboard this ship** in the care of Doctor McCoy and Mister Spock."

Kirk quickly glanced at the three Vulcan and only the years he had spent observing Spock had enabled him to detect the flickers of anger, annoyance, and gradual acceptance that crossed their faces.

Bars turned and looked at the three Vulcans, "I will forward to you the reports I get. As I recall when you contacted me about Officer Harris you requested only to see him. Nothing was ever mentioned about examining him. Mister Spock would have been quite within his rights to refuse that mind touch. It was all that you required to assess. Doctor Sturos has confirmed what you had been told by Mister Spock in his report, that not even a Vulcan could have withstood the forces used on Officer Harris. You have seen him, you were able to assess his condition, so shall we go and let Mister Spock return to observing any further changes?"

While he knew there had been the usual formalities of farewell Spock could not remember them. All that mattered was that Steven was staying on the ship in his care. His care under McCoy's guidance.

As soon as Spock fully became aware they had left, with McCoy saying he would be back shortly, he went back to the bed and picked up Steven's hand and lightly brushed his hair back into place, "**I am here, Steven**. I must explain why I allowed Sturos to touch your mind. Of the three I summarized that he would take the most care and would only touch your mind and not invade it. I was confident that of the three he would be the most honest with us and would not do more than he said. I had read enough papers by T'Tenp and Skoplk to know that they would have deeply probed and studied your mind, that they would have seen you as a thing to study and not a patient to help. Sturos was most careful in his touch, the true touch of **a real healer, a real doctor**."

"**I am honored**," Spock was on his feet as soon as he heard the voice, ready to protect Steven in any way possible, "Be assured, Spock, I returned to thank you for allowing me to touch his mind. I also returned to say that I believe **you** are a part of that core they could not damage. It would have been beyond their comprehension but I detected and recognized that fierce protection a Human has for a non-Human. He does know you are with him and he feels a bond of what Humans call friendship with you."

"You did not mention this to the others. And may I ask how you know of that which Humans call friendship?"

"I did not mention it as it was none of their concern. As to the other, " there was a poignant understanding on Sturos's face as he looked at Spock, "I am twenty-nine point eight years your senior, Spock, and I too have had a Human friend. Back when Vulcan and the Federation were trying to bridge an accord before formal relationships were established. For ten years I had a Human friend named Douglas Heath Lane, an outstanding all-species doctor and near fearless warrior in one. I met him when I went to study Human medicine and we shared living quarters much to the distinct distain of other Humans. I had not thought of Humans being as bestial towards one another as shown by those who treated Douglas as they did simply for sharing living quarters with me. When he came to study on Vulcan he stayed with my family. I was made aware of how unusual my fellow Vulcans found the situation but there was not of the display of displeasure as I had seen on Earth. My family accepted him and the relationship knowing it was deep and strictly platonic. My wife and children thought of him as part of the family." Sturos went quiet and looked briefly at the sleeping form on the bed for three point eight one standard minutes in total stillness, then back at Spock and Spock could see the pain of loss in the eyes looking at him. "Sixteen years ago, during his last year of study on Vulcan, there was an, an incident during which he was killed."

Sixteen years ago. Spock thought back and remembered an attack on the hospital at the Vulcan Science Academy where five men had gone in and killed two doctors and had the others lined up for slaughter when a visiting doctor had been killed disarming them. His mother had told him about it and about how it had been a Human who was killed disarming the attackers.

Sturos nodded as he saw the realization on Spock's face. "They were all heavily armed and had pulled my wife and myself out to be killed next. Douglas rushed them. For but a moment it was chaos before our security could get in. I got to him as Security took them away. He died on my lap looking at me, knowing he was going to die, and holding my hand. He was dying yet through our contact I could feel his concern about me. His last conscious thought had been of my well being. Never before, nor since, have I experienced the feelings I did when in contact with him over those ten years. As I held him as he died I fully understood why we Vulcans have learned to control our emotions so well, why we have mastered our bloodlust as I am certain, certain beyond any doubt, that I would have slowly and painfully killed with my bare hands those who had killed him. Such is the power of a real friendship with a Human. It is clear to me that you have deep friendships with both Doctor McCoy and Captain Kirk, but there is also a strange old friendship you have with Steven Harris. You are most fortunate. That which Humans call real friendship is a rare gift and you have three such gifts. I trust you treasure them as it is obvious that they treasure you. Live long and prosper, Spock."

Still slightly numbed by what Sturos had said Spock returned the salute and words and watched Sturos walk away. Sturos had understood because of his knowledge of what a Human meant by friendship, because he had had a Human friend for ten years. He walked back to the bed and held Steven's hand. "He understood, Steven. He is correct, what we have is a strange old friendship. You have always accepted **me as me**, been there for **me**, and we still have the connection you started when you accepted me that morning in front of all the others. You could have chosen any of the thirty still looking to find a person to share a room with but you accepted me. I can never tell you what it is like to realize now what that must have been like, for you to stand up for me then, in front of all of them, and offer me not just to share a room but your friendship. All I had wanted then was a room and to study. The facts that you did without; that you were bullied; and that you enabled me to concentrate on my work uninterrupted never entered my awareness as major factors. For that I apologize."

As he sat holding Steven's hands he thought back over all the messages of congratulations he had received over the years from Steven. Every promotion, every paper published. Always there was a short message of congratulations and encouragement and always just signed Steven. It only now seemed strange that Steven had stayed Steven and not become Steve but Montgomery Scott was Scotty and Jim had insisted he be called Jim and not James. He had, a few times, called McCoy 'Bones' but usually the doctor.

Without turning to look he knew it was the doctor who had re-entered his quarters for he smelt coffee and a Vulcan tea. It seemed if there were no alcoholic liquids to remedy a problem there was always coffee or tea. He smiled to himself as he remembered how McCoy had really been enjoying one tea till he was told of the fermentation done first and how it was a particular dry fungus that was the base of the tea. The doctor loved mushrooms but was almost physical ill when told a tea he had been enjoying was based on a dried fungus.

The hand in his moved again and he looked from it to Steven's face in time to see him briefly open his eyes. He felt the fingers try twice to grip his hand but seemed to lack the strength to grip. Without looking behind him but somehow sensing the doctor's presence he said, "McCoy?"


	20. Chapter 20

"Right here," a hand rested briefly on his shoulder then was gone, "What is it?"

"Steven momentarily opened his eyes and tried twice to squeeze my hand."

"Anything that Sturos did?"

"No. All Sturos did was touch his mind. He did not enter his mind; he just sought to know the extent of his injuries not what was in his mind. There was no probing and no healing, just an assessment as he said. I could tell from watching him and from emanations through Steven hands that that was all that was done. Sturos did tell me that Steven knows I am with him."

There was the whirr of the scanner then McCoy said, "Let go of his hand for a minute, Spock." Another whirr of the scanner. "Okay, hold it again. He **is** aware of you being in contact with him. There is slight change but if he opened his eyes and apparently recognized you that is a big step."

Spock took Steven's hand back in his own then looked up at McCoy, "I wish to thank you for what you,"

Again McCoy briefly rested a hand on the slim shoulder, "I was not about to let them take him off the ship. He belongs here with friends, Spock. If he regains consciousness he will need friends with him. Friends to reassure him he is safe. Friends and people who care about him to help him fully return."

"Then you believe he will fully recover?"

"After seeing how he was when you carried him back and how he is now I would put all my savings pay on it. Mind you it may take some considerable time but then so will doing my paper."

"What paper?"

Spock could have sworn there was a mischievous twinkle in McCoy's eyes when he looked at Spock., "Oh, that's right. I didn't tell Jim, them or you about that, did I?"

"About what, Doctor?"

For a moment McCoy looked at the ceiling and rocked slightly on his heels then looked at Spock, "As soon as I knew they had the request from Vulcan healers I sent an urgent personal message to the Starfleet Command Medical Board Commander requesting an immediate and binding response that permitted me to keep Harris on the ship to study his recovery and do a paper on the treatment used. Telling Jim and you must have slipped my mind with all that was going on."

_Starfleet Command Medical Board Commander _Spock was silent for a moment as he looked at McCoy. Nobody directly contacted the Board Commander. All contact had to, _an urgent personal message._ _Personal message_. "You told no-one of this. Did you receive a reply?"

McCoy's grin said it all, "A copy of the reply is on your private messages as well as on his file. He stays till I say he goes."

"Doctor, I,"

Before Spock could say anything McCoy held up his hand, "You have to tell me if you want: a salad, soup, or what. **You are going to eat** and none of that old Vulcans do not require routine. I am not insisting on a huge meal but you will eat what I bring you. I am going to have to work out a diet for him and for you and Jim has worked out rosters so that you can stay here as Uhura and Scotty are working on a small portable unit for in here so you can stay with him, in contact with him, and still help out with bridge related duties. Chekov will be at your scanners and knows to get in contact with you if he sees anything different or unusual and to record it."

Knowing he could not win against McCoy this time he nodded, "A salad would be very acceptable, thank you."

"I'll be right back."

When McCoy had gone Spock looked at Steven, "Steven, I must check my messages. I will be right back. I will be able to see you from where I have to go." It had only taken a few seconds to find McCoy's message and reply and Spock slowly sat down. Clearly the doctor had not meant for him to see his message only the reply as he had said the reply. Clearly nobody but Starfleet Command's Medical Board Commander, one Paul Fields, was to read his message.

* * *

**A/N Hope you are still liking the story - the real world is demanding more of my time so will be away for about a week. Take care and have fun.**


	21. Chapter 21

_"Paul – I have a patient who must stay on the Enterprise. I am contacting you as I am afraid I may have to hand him over either to the higher echelon who would just put him in a room and give him only the required basic care, which we both know means basically leaving him alone for hours on end, or to some blasted Vulcan healers who would see him as little more than an experimental case study. He has suffered what could be irreversible brain damage saving two senior command bridge crew of this ship from highly developed mind strippers. I know you have seen what mind strippers can do. Yes, I said what could be. I have an idea for a new treatment regime but need him aboard the ship while I try it out. Of course I would write a paper on whether the treatment I am going to attempt with the aid of other crew members works. We both know Starfleet uses many of my papers as part of their medical training units now and this would be a different way of treating patients with severe brain damage. I must keep Officer Steven Ian Harris aboard the Enterprise in order to initiate and continue the treatment regime. Had we not been at a Starbase but still well out of range of any immediate danger of me losing the opportunity to advance our medical knowledge I would have had no need to contact you but I MUST keep Officer Steven Ian Harris aboard the ship without fear of intervention by the Vulcans or other Starfleet medical personnel. I am so certain my findings will offer hope for alternative treatments to such severely brain damaged officers that should he be taken from the ship I will not only stop sharing any my future findings but will also limit my treatment to that which is standard Starfleet practice. As the records show the Enterprise has the lowest number of crew taken off the ship and put into Starfleet medical facilities for treatments we again both know it is because I take care of matters on the ship despite them often being well outside the guidelines set by Starfleet. You have my reassurance that keeping him aboard will not impact on the smooth running of the medical department nor the ship and it will neither put lives at risk nor require additional medical personal. None of the existing medical personnel be required to alter their shifts or duties. I need a reply within twenty-four standard hours on this. Leonard H. McCoy, Enterprise._

_ "Leonard – I have read and reread your request to keep Officer Steven Ian Harris aboard the Enterprise and am sure that your paper on any new treatment for severely brain damaged officer would be of tremendous benefit. We are all aware of the great advances in the treatment of officers so far from the more advanced medical facilities as are found at Starbases and know that a great proportion of those advances have been due to your work. We are also well aware of the way the crew of the Enterprise care for one another. I could tell from not just your wording but also the use of your middle initial how much this matters to you as a person and the highly skilled physician you are. We have noted on his records that Officer Steven Ian Harris is to stay under your care on the Enterprise until further notice. Paul Fields, Starfleet Command's Medical Board _

Momentarily Spock just sat after he had switched off the screen. McCoy had used his usual form of subtle blackmail. _Friends and people who care._ Spock nodded to himself. Even McCoy was acutely aware of the difference between friends and people. He wondered if either Jim or McCoy had any idea what it was like not to really have had a friend till almost their adult years. Like a fool he had not seen Steven as a friend back then. Back then Steven had been a Human senior cadet he shared quarters with. That was all he had allowed himself to see Steven as he. Spock let out a slow sigh as he realized what he had done to Steven back then, he had hidden behind that Vulcan wall that had been reinforced by how others had treated him, by how he had been treated by his peers on Vulcan and how many at the Academy were towards him. To him back then Steven was just a Human he shared quarters with and nothing more.

Steven had his eyes open when Spock walked back into the sleeping area and he saw the muscles around his mouth try to move. Quickly he sat on the bed, took his hand, and saw that Steven was looking at him, his eyes had followed him as he had entered. There was a clear recognition there. "Steven?" the hand in his tried again to grip his and the eyes closed. .

McCoy could tell when he walked in carrying the salad that something had happened; something that shone from those dark eyes let him know there had been a change. "Want to tell me what's happened or do I have to guess?"

"Steven was aware for only a few moments but he **recognized me** and his eyes followed me." Spock looked at the tray with the salad and saw there were also two types of small Vulcan biscuits. "I thank you for the lunch and the biscuits."

"No, that's too easy. There is something else. What?"


	22. Chapter 22

"I read the reply you received."

"Good, so you know he stays."

"I also read your request."

"**That's impossible**,: McCoy's response showed Spock he was right, McCoy had not meant for anybody to see his original message, "I only sent you the reply."

"Paul Fields had attached your request to his reply."

"Damn! I forgot he does that. I didn't want,"

"It was strangely refreshing to know that you apply your subtle blackmailing tactics to others and not just to Jim or myself. You do seem to have a great expertise at that."

McCoy reacted as Spock had expected, crossed his arms, rocked on his heels, and looked at the ceiling before looking at him, "There **was not** blackmail. I stated the facts. I had to get him to remain on the ship and that was all I could think of at the time. Damned fool believed I would not share what I learn."

"Many do not share but such is not your nature, Doctor. I would like to thank you for what you have done." 

"All that I have done, Spock, is set up a way of being able to help Steven. He saved my two closed friends and I'd be damned before I would see him sent to a place where I know he would be largely ignored or a place where he would be examined and treated like some sort of scientific experiment. Now," McCoy stepped closer, "when he opens his eyes next I want to be here and do a quick test."

"Do you **not** mean an examination?"

"No, Spock, a quick test. You'll see. It will tell me, us, how he is really doing."

Carefully managing to eat his salad one handed Spock kept hold of Steven's hand. He had almost finished his meal when Steven again opened his eyes, "Doctor."

McCoy was right there and saw Steven's eyes move from looking at Spock to looking at him then back at Spock. "Let go of his hand, Spock, and place you hand here, where he can see it." Spock reluctantly released the hand and placed his right hand on the tilted table within easy range of Steven's reach. McCoy placed his left hand next to Spock's so that to Steven it might appear to be Spock's other hand. "Now ask him to point to your hand."

"Steven, point to my hand." For a moment both Vulcan and doctor watched as Steven closed his eyes, sighed, then reopened his eyes and seemed to concentrate on the hands before not just pointing but reaching for Spock's hand. Spock closed his eyes as the grip was firmer. He looked and saw a huge grin on McCoy's face and when he looked at Steven he saw relief. "Good. Good." Spock looked at McCoy for a moment then at Steven. "One squeeze for no and three for yes." The fingers gripped his hand three times. "Is this Doctor M'Benga?" one squeeze. "Do you like iced coffee and toffee?" three squeezes, "Is this Doctor McCoy?" three squeezes. "Do you pilot shuttle craft?" one squeeze. "Do you like smell of freshly baked bread?" three squeezes. "Do you like playing chess?" one squeeze. "Do you like milky coffee with brown sugar?" three squeezes.

McCoy was very pleased about what he was seeing but could tell Spock did not want to ask any the questions they needed answered.

For a moment Spock just looked at Steven. They had to know the answers to the questions he had to ask. He had asked so many others in Sickbay the questions but this, this was so very different. No, he stopped himself, Steven would expect him to follow procedure. "Do you remember what happened to you?" three squeezes. "All of it?" three squeezes. When Spock closed his eyes and muttered "It was all my fault, all my fault" he got one firm and long squeeze and saw Steven trying to shake his head with tears welling in his eyes.

A look as close to horror and self-loathing as McCoy had ever seen on Spock's face was all his mind registered before he watched Spock reach out and pull Steven to him as Steven started to almost uncontrollably sob and moan what sounded like 'No.' repeated in rapid succession. When Kirk walked in just as Spock embraced Steven McCoy indicated for him to be silent. Together they stood side by side watching their friend helping his other friend deal with what McCoy could only think of as a living hell.

Kirk had gone to his quarters to change, then the bridge to let the crew know of the outcome, then to the rec room for a quick meal, and then had come to see if there was any progress. He had come in and heard Spock softly saying something was his fault and then saw him pulling Steven to him and try to comfort him as Spock had occasionally comforted him, the way one does a frightened friend. This time there was no feeling of not being a part of what was happening. He was only aware of feeling pleased that Spock could help his friend like that.

"I am so sorry, Steven. I had to ask. I had to ask for the record." Spock felt the slight nod Steven gave him. He was initially surprised by how weak Steven seemed but knew, after what he had seen done to Steven in that room, that it would be quite some time before he had much strength at all back. He felt Steven still holding his hand, felt three distinct squeezes. "You, know I had to?" three more squeezes. "I should stop." one long squeeze. "No. I'm going to let you lay down again and I want you to sleep while McCoy sits with you as I must tend to my duties." three squeezes.

Kirk looked at McCoy and saw McCoy also was unsure why Spock had said that as he knew he had no duties. As soon as Spock had Steven settled McCoy sat down and took his hand. "Steven, it is McCoy." Three squeezes. "You sleep like Spock said. I will keep hold your hand." one squeeze. McCoy looked at Spock. "Okay, I will be nearby where I can keep an eye on you and will only hold you hand if I see you need me. That better?" three squeezes. "Okay. Now sleep."

Once Steven was asleep the three moved out of the sleeping alcove and Kirk looked at Spock, "Want to tell me what duties you have to attend to?"


	23. Chapter 23

"Captain, I, I find I must meditate as there were too many conflicting emanations coming through his touch. He, he is in far greater pain than we had thought, Doctor. While the registers can indicate high levels of pain what he is experiencing is beyond them for it is pain that is comsuming both his physical as well as his mental being." Neither Kirk no McCoy missed the conflicting emotions that played over Spock's face when he looked back at Steven for a moment. "If you will both excuse me I shall return in two standard hours."

Once Spock had gone Kirk looked at McCoy, "What do you make of that?"

"If you ask me there is way more to this than you know and much, moch more than that that I don't know. What has he told you about his relationship with Steven."

Kirk looked at McCoy and knew he could not tell him all that Spock had told him as if Spock wanted McCoy to know it all he could tell him. "He just said that he had shared quarters with Steven for his first few weeks at the Academy and got to know him fairly well while adapting to living in a virtually total Human environment. That Steven helped him with his adjustment."

"Must have been rough on Spock and I'll bet Steven was not all that popular with some."

"There still are some xenophobic people in Starfleet, Bones."

"I take it they did not stay in contact?"

"Apparently Steven would send the usual congratulations type thing to Spock from time to time."

"That sounds to me like it was one way."

"You know Spock."

"I best go rub more oil on Steven. It seems to help him." McCoy walked slowly to the bed. He was relieved to see that Steven was still sleeping and gently wiped beneath his nostrils with a warm cloth before dipping his finger into the oil. For the first time Steven twitched his lip as he applied it and McCoy also noticed how Steven tried to raise his arm as though wanting to swat his hand away. Oddly both were good signs and he silently thanked the gods for what Spock's mother had concocted as it clearly worked and, he smiled, obviously Steven was able to also smell it was almost overpowering.

Gently McCoy took the hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb, "Okay, no more of that oil then. You just rest." before placing it back on the bed and going to the computer to update his records for the paper he would later write

Kirk had stood just watching. As he stood seeing the exchange he realized not only all that he owed Steven but also how he had not allowed himself to take part in his care, how he had avoided actually physically caring for him. Oh, he convinced himself that what he had done had been enough but looking at Steven Harris and really seeing him Kirk felt ashamed. He should have been the one who had challenged them when they were going to rape Spock's mind, he should have seen and understood Spock's need to protect Steven without prying into their friendship, he should have helped more than just saying what he had at the meeting. That man on that bed in that hell had saved not only his life but that of the most precious person in his life and he had done nothing, nothing to really help him, to comfort him, to let him know he was still wanted.

That had been it. Kirk closed his eyes. He had had that old haunting doubt that was so Human but that he realized, now, was not to do with Spock. It had nothing to do with that fleeting fear that Spock might think the friendship he had with Steven was more important than what they had. It had been his fear of all that Steven had done for him and his refusal to acknowledge it. If it had not been for Steven he would not have met Spock. If Steven had not been willing to be possibly the first Human to offer Spock friendship he was sure the Vulcan would have retreated further into that lonely cold space he had barricaded himself in. If not for Steven being unafraid of the reaction and retaliation of the others Spock would not have stayed in Starfleet and they never would have met.

He stopped as he remembered what he had heard from other cadets who had been there, at the Academy, at the time about the things had been done to "the traitor who took in that Vulcan". Barbaric was all he could think of and he hoped Spock had never known about it.

When he saw Steven restlessly moving his head and knew McCoy was unaware of it Kirk slowly walked over to the bed and picked up the hand. The eyes briefly opened and for that moment Kirk felt he was looking in the bowels of hell as the pain was to clear. Instinctively he squeezed the hand, "It is Kirk, Steven. You relax. I'll get Spock." One fierce, almost bond crushing grip, was the quick reply and the eyes opened again and Steven tried to shake his head. "Okay, you relax. I'll stay right here." While Steven closed his eyes Kirk felt him still gripping his hand. Briefly he looked up at the pain register. It seemed to be fighting to go higher than it was.

"What," McCoy came rushing in but Kirk held up his other hand and McCoy stopped, saw what was going on and went to the intercom, "Uhura, get Spock back to his quarters."


	24. Chapter 24

"You, you know he has gone to meditate?" three grips. Kirk looked at McCoy. An awareness of why Spock had left. "You were having a nightmare?" three grips. "Was it," another single fierce grip. "Would you like some coffee?" three grips.

Kirk again looked at McCoy who nodded and went back to the intercom. "Uhura, mind having somebody bring some coffee and some light food to Spock's quarters?"

"Is Steven able to,"

"I want to find that out and will let you know."

"Thank you and Spock is on his way."

Spock all but charged into his quarters and stopped as he saw Kirk holding Steven's hand and McCoy at the intercom. He could tell there had been a change, that something had happened.

As Kirk slowly released Steven's hand from his hand and let Spock sit and hold it he said, "He's had a nightmare. He did not want you called as he knew you had gone to meditate but does want a cup of coffee."

While puzzled about how Jim knew of what he had relayed Spock knew he would tell him later. The hand in his gripped three times and Spock saw Steven looking up at him and a faint smile. There was still tremendous pain emanating from the hand but only warmth was in the eyes that looked at him.

"You were having nightmares?" three grips. "Did seeing the Captain here make you feel safe?" three grips. Slowly Spock sat on the bed and just looked at Steven for a moment knowing he had to ask but did not want to for he was certain it would cause more pain. "Will you let me take away the nightmares?" one firm grip and Spock saw fear and panic on Steven's face as he slightly shook his head.

Just for two point four three minutes did Spock sit looking directly into Steven's eyes as he slowly realized what they would have dug out of his memories, what they would have tormented him with if they got close to, as Sturos said, to what they had. "They, they made you remember everything from back then?" three squeezes and tears filled the eyes looking at him. "They did not discover about my relationship with the Captain?" one firm squeeze. "They did not discover about me," before he even finished asking the question he felt strength in the one long firm squeeze, heard his breathing patterns slightly change, and saw Steven slowly shake his head.

As he looked down at Steven all the memories that had come back to him while he meditated and deliberated recalled that time came back to him. All the things Steven had done for him, all that had been said about and done to Steven because of him. Things he had never thanked Steven for. Only during his meditations had he related what he had heard to how he had seen Steven return to the quarters the night after the night he had threatened to break the groups necks came back to him, seeing again how he walked, how he looked, how he was so long in the shower. He heard again the voice of the leader of that xenophopic group, "_We took turns taking him anally and orally, debasing him every way we could think of to make him say he'd get rid of the Vulcan. For five hours non-stop and then, then he gets up, looks at each of us then said again that he was staying and if we hurt him or interfered with him in any way he would break our necks. Three days later we all get a copy of a medical he had, it listed our DNA, and the note just said if breaking our necks did not finish us exposure might_." Even after hearing that, knowing that, he had not thanked Steven and yet Steven still thought of him as a friend.

When he looked back down Steven was still shaking his head slowly and there were tears in his eyes. Very slowly and gently Spock again pulled Steven up from the bed and held him, this time he felt Steven's arms try to hug him as the tears fell and his body shook. Gradually a shattered, frightened, soft voice was heard, "I, I, couldn't, couldn't, break, break, their necks. I, I did stop, stop them. Couldn't, couldn't let them, couldn't let them hurt you." As he could remember his mother doing so many years ago Spock slowly started rubbing Steven's back in a circular motion and started to rock slightly back and forth.

"You didn't let them hurt me, Steven. You did not let them hurt me just as you did not let that group hurt me that night. Like that time they hurt you. Like that time that group physically and sexually abuse you because of me this time another group mentally raped you because of me. I am so sorry."

Kirk felt molten lead in his stomach; Spock had known what had happened to Steven back then. He knew only too well how his friend would be feeling now. He knew in that physical contact that Spock would be feeling all that Steven was and would not be shielding himself as he had that guilt complex where he would be blaming himself.

"I, I couldn't let them hurt you. I couldn't let them hurt you. Couldn't let them hurt you."

"But they hurt you, didn't they? They hurt you."

"Yes, but, but not you. Couldn't let them hurt you. Couldn't let them hurt you."

"It is all alright now, Steven. They cannot hurt you or me any more. You have to let me help you now."

"No. No, you'll see, you'll know, you'll feel. No. No." Spock felt Steven's breathing change and heard the panic yet almost a surrender in his voice.


	25. Chapter 25

For a moment Spock looked at him and Kirk saw a reflection of hell in his friend's eyes. Softly he said, "Tell him we will help as well and no mind melds, only physical." Spock looked at him for a moment longer and gave a slight nod.

"Steven, we will help you. The Captain," Spock looked at McCoy who just nodded, "Doctor McCoy and I will help you come back to how you were. I will not mind meld with you nor will I employ anything but physical contact and conversation with you."

"Too much time."

McCoy crouched down and looked at Steven as he still let Spock hold him and the doctor could tell his patient was attempting to come to terms with things that were happening. "Now you listen to me, Steven Harris. You have no say in this matter. You are on this ship as **my patient**, as Captain Kirk's officer, and as Spock's friend. As Spock said, **we are** **going to help you**. I will be doing a medical report on you, Captain Kirk will be evaluating your progress and deciding where you will be of most use, and Spock will be charged with keeping an eye on you. Matter settled."

Spock felt Steven move his head and looked down to see him looking up at him, "Spock?"

There was uncertainty and fear yet also hope and total trust in that one word and Spock heard it.

"There are others on the ship who will want to help. I will ensure they know how to help you best. You will not be alone and you will not be hurt again."

"You duties. You, you have your duties."

"I will be able to fulfill my duties to the ship and assist you. I need you to relax now." Again Spock held Steven to him and rubbed his back as he felt the tremors of pain Steven was trying to hide, the tremors he knew reflected the pain the raping of his mind had caused. "Just know that you are safe and relax."

Uhura came in with a tray with the three cups of coffee, one cup of tea, and a selection of cakes and cookies. The sight of Spock actually hugging an officer to him made her stop. She had seen him occasionally holding the Captain and even McCoy but nobody else and not like that, not rubbing their back.

"Steven, Lieutenant Uhura is here. She might like to hold your hand. Will you let her hold your hand so you do not have to talk?" three quick squeezes. Spock looked at Uhura and watched a she placed the tray down and walked to the bed then placed Steven's hand in her hand saying, "That is a yes. Three is yes and one is no."

Steven turned his head and Kirk and McCoy saw that there was recognition when he saw Uhura. McCoy nodded and both Kirk and Spock saw the nod and knew it was a good sign.

"Hello, Steven. There is a coffee there for you with some brown sugar in it as you like it. There is also a molten chocolate centered cookie for you." three firm squeezes. "Have you been scared?" three more squeezes, Uhura quickly looked at Spock then back at Steven. "Are you scared now?" one squeeze. "You feel safe with Mister Spock?" three very firm squeezes. "I will come back later. Do you think then you will talk with me?" three squeezes and a weak smile. "Should I bring my newest puzzle book?" three very quick squeezes and a slight nod. "Okay, you be good and do as you are told." she placed Steven's hand back in Spock's then lightly kissed Steven on the forehead. "I'll come back tomorrow."

After Uhura had gone McCoy handed Spock the cup of coffee. There was a conflict of wanting the coffee yet also afraid of it on Steven's face. "I will hold it for you, Steven. Sip it slowly as it will be hot." there was the slightest of nods and carefully Spock held the cup to Steven's lips. He slowly sipped on it and relief and gratitude was about his eyes. "Want to try the cookie?" another slight nod. Steven took a small bite and smiled as he chewed, closed his eyes and was obviously savoring the taste.

Spock looked at the part of the cookie still in his hand and saw there was, in deed, a soft center of semi-soft dark chocolate in a hard cookie cruse. Memories of his childhood came back and he remembered his mother used to enjoy baking them for his father from time to time. While he did not enjoy them as much as his father he knew that they were more nutritious than so many other types of cookies because of the dark chocolate. He remembered that Uhura had asked his mother for the recipe and had it put in the programming for the food replicator.

For a moment after he had finished the cookie and coffee Steven just leaned against Spock and Spock could feel the pain was still radiating from him despite how relaxed he was trying to be. When he looked at McCoy he could tell that the doctor was concerned about the strain Steven was in and he could see the concern Kirk had for him when he looked at his captain and friend.

"You need to rest now, Steven. I will go to the bridge and come back later. Doctor McCoy will be near by if you need,"

He felt Steven move slightly and look up at him before moving slightly back. "I, I remember."

"Remember what?"


	26. Chapter 26

Steven briefly gripped Spock's right hand and held it between them then slowly held just the small finger, "Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combination", then the ring finger, "Philosophy of Nome or the All." then held the two together, "Interdependence of the two. The two."

Kirk and McCoy looked at Spock as he only glanced at them and then looked back at Steven who held his middle finger, "Domination of Logic over Emotion." then the index finger "Vulcan Reference for Life." and held the two of them together, "Existence demands Logic rules Emotions" He paused for a moment and looked at Spock and smiled as he gripped the thumb, "Individual Privacy."

As he looked at Steven as he saw the deep pain around his eyes despite the slight smile on his lips Spock was first concerned that the mental trauma might have brought it back but he saw the faint smile Steven gave him, "I remembered but they, but they did not learn of it."

Steven remembering it brought back to his consciousness so many of the few times he had spent with him just talking back then. Those few times when Steven had asked something that Spock had understood was not personal but rather a genuine questions about the Vulcan ways and culture. He remembered being slightly reluctant at the time about telling Steven of the full meaning of the gesture but had trusted him to fully appreciate the significance of the meaning of each finger, of the grouping, and of what the gesture and the phrase bestowed on the parties involved.

As he looked at Steven he realized that Steven had always respected his privacy and never asked about his private life. All Steven had ever told him was that his parents were agricultural experts and were sent to new planets to help establish agricultural areas and that his parents had been killed in a raid on a new outpost when he was fifteen and he had raised his younger brother and twin sisters till he went into the Academy and they were adult enough to be independent.

Only then did he realize he had to be the one to notify them of what had happened. He knew that they were a close group although they had not been together in years. He remembered how there was a weekly message from all three of them to Steven.

Spock also realized what Steven remembering something from that long ago indicated, his mind was not as severely damaged as they had thought. Somehow he had managed to protect more of his mind than they had suspected. There was more than just that which Sturos had mentioned. Sturos had called it a fierce protection a Human has for a non-Human which, Spock realized, was an incomplete statement as this Human had protected not just him but those things meaningful to Vulcans.

"I am honoured you remember that. Do you remember what the salute and phrase together means?"


	27. Chapter 27

"Together the grants the other right to privacy, right to be different, and invites the differences to join to form one existence in time." There was confusion on Steven's face, "No, no, I, I have it all wrong."

"No, Steven. It has been many years since that night and for you to remember what you have is a gift to me. Now you must rest. You are clearly exhausted." Spock saw McCoy move and hold up a hypo, "Will you rest now? Doctor McCoy wants to medicate you again so you sleep for a substantial time."

"Sleep sounds good. You'll sleep too?"

Once he had eased Steven back onto the bed he looked down at him, "I will go to the bridge and attend to what I must there and will then have a rest."

Spock felt the grip on his hand and saw Steven look at him, "You sleep."

Just for a fraction of a second Spock hesitated and stopped himself from his usual comment about how Vulcans did not need as much sleep as Humans but he could not deny that sleep would be the best action he could take after checking the situation on the bridge. They were not due to leave for another twenty-one point one six hours and there really was nothing for him to do except read some new journals. "I will sleep for seven point five hours if it pleases you."

"Your usual from then."

"Yes." he did not comment how it was the required time at the Academy and that Steven was only assuming he still maintained that pattern, it was enough that Steven remembered that fact. McCoy moved over, "McCoy will medicate you now and I will return in twelve hours."

McCoy placed the hypo to Steven's arm, "I'll be nearby, Steven."

Only when Steven was asleep did Spock move away from the bed. He would go to the bridge and attend to what he had to there, go to a briefing room for privacy and contact Steven's family, and then sleep beside his bed for the seven point five hours he had told Steven he would.

"I remember four years ago you told me about the meaning behind the salute and I feel kindda bad saying I had forgotten what each finger meant. McCoy looked at his Vulcan friend. "And he remembered from what, the Academy?"

Spock smiled both to himself and at McCoy as he remembered that discussion with Steven. He, himself, had instigated the discussion. One of the senior cadets had given him a hand sign he did not understand and he asked Steven to explain it to him. Steven had explained it was a derogatory gesture and was know by many names but in the Academy was commonly known as the single digit salute. It was three days after that when Steven had asked him if it were not too personal or against the laws or mores of Vulcan to explain the meaning behind the Vulcan salute.

"I was surprised, Doctor, that he remembered that as we only discussed it once and that was eighteen years ago. Does his remembering it not indicate that there is more of his brain not damaged than we first thought?"

While McCoy also had the same hope that the Vulcan did he knew he could not lie to Spock, "It indicates that he remembers so things, Spock. It could indicate that less permanent damage was done to his brain than first thought. We will need to wait and see how much more he remembers, we will have to test him periodically and see what he does and does not remember."

Spock nodded his acknowledgement then looked at Kirk, "What will happen to him should he not be able to pass the necessary mental fitness assessment tests required to keep him on the ship?"

"By regulations he would be removed and placed in a facility that specializes in rehabilitation."

There was just a flicker across Spock's face that Kirk recognized as anger and disappointment before he nodded, "Understandable."

"That is **by regulations** but I am sure that there is a loophole there," Kirk looked at his friend and saw the slight raise of an eyebrow, "something about a ship's Chief Medical Officer's reports."

McCoy rocked on his heels slightly and smiled at Spock, "You must know that Jim and I have been checking all the conditions under which an officer like Steven Harris stays aboard the ship."

Spock was not sure which of his friends to look at. He could not miss the smile on Kirk's face nor the look the two exchanged. "Bones said you had read a message he sent and the reply he got. Do you remember the last line of the reply?"

For a moment Spock could not remember breathing. McCoy's message. The last sentence of the reply.

* * *

A/N Longer than expected delay due to the 6.4 quake we had and the aftershocks have meant was on call. Be back to it again soon.


	28. Chapter 28

As he remembered that last line_, We have noted on his records that Officer Steven Ian Harris is to stay under your care on the Enterprise until further notice. _Spock found himself looking at the doctor. McCoy had shown that devious streak the Vulcan had long suspected he had, he had left them with no option but for that reply, that permission, that certainty that Steven would stay on the ship.

Clearly his reaction showed as Kirk had kept looking at him, smiled, and said, "You said that it is understandable to send a crewman unable to pass the standard mental fitness assessment to a facility for rehabilitation but do you not believe that, in this case, the only place for this crewman is on this ship? Also you have to realize that McCoy could learn so much by studying his recovery, his work could help other doctors in Starfleet know how to deal with their officers who might be mentally traumatized. Can you, as my First Officer, give me any reason based on what I have just said, for sending him off the ship?"

"No." Spock was aware of McCoy grinning and rocking on his heels with his arms crossed across his chest just looking at him. "I believe the reply received by the ship's Chief Medical Officer from Starfleet Command regarding Steven Harris clarifies it is necessary to keep him aboard the ship." For a moment he stood and looked at his two friends, "I wish to thank you both for what you are doing to enable Steven to stay aboard the ship."

Kirk gave his friend and First Officer a nod, "Didn't you once tell me that one does not thank logic?"

Before Spock could answer McCoy spoke as he smiled, "And didn't you just tell Steven you were going to the bridge and then to sleep? When you come back you and I will work out the best way to help him return to the required levels for mental and physical fitness needed of him to stay aboard this ship and to let me study him under your supervision."

Spock nodded his thanks to the doctor then looked at Kirk then back at McCoy, "If you gentlemen will excuse me I shall go and attend to the matters I told Steven about."

When the Vulcan had left McCoy looked first at his patient then at Kirk, "He is a very lucky man, that green-blooded hobgoblin of ours."

"How's that, Bones?"

"He is so damned lucky, Jim, as he has a friend from his past, aboard the ship of his present friends, and with how things turned out he will go on with his friends into the future. Now I don't know about you but I think that makes him lucky."

Kirk looked at his friend then at Steven. Perhaps Spock could never have admitted that it had been Steven who had first shown him that a Vulcan and a Human could be friends, but he said a silent prayer of thanks to the gods for what Steven had done all those years ago as well as just a few days ago. That one short display of friendship so long ago had meant Spock had stayed at the Academy, had stayed in Starfleet, had become his friend. While Steven would possible never talk if it Kirk could only imagine how testing it would have been to have lived with Spock in total Vulcan mode.

When Kirk looked into the blue eyes that were studying him he knew McCoy was right. Spock had friends from his past, his present, and his foreseeable future around him. He nodded, "Yes, he, we are lucky to have the friends we have, Bones. I better go mind the store as we should be getting new orders shortly."

FIN

* * *

A/N Well, that's this one done. Thanks to those who reviewed, those who followed, those who made it a favorite, and those who just plain read it. Gotta have a few days away as am helping put together emergency kits as we have had a lot of minor aftershocks and people are realizing that they should have emergenct kits. . . Stay safe and have fun.


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